moved entries persons timewarp |
therealshard
say: fawaz as complete as it gets
please refrain from using
. credits
Icon: LJ/sixthmile |
moved
|
hwowwww
Written on: Monday, September 29, 2008
i've been writing a lot of crap lately, and i hope to get better at it with time. a lot of it is influenced by cradle of filth's songs (they're not that excellent a band, just that i like the way their songs are written). this is one of em, i don't think its that good, i'll have to keep trying:Time: 4:36 PM Pull and trouble my soul On a crystal night These silent creeping fears (As the widow lights These candles with her fears) Evil in the soul, stay, rot, don't show But the forked tongue licks the sky. Hiding in the shame of the light and rain, These demons run afree. Fight the voice that preaches loud in your ear, Turn in and feel the sear. Blinding light brings numb of sight But in this blindness everything's clear Fright of mine is fuel to the taunting flames As in myself I run away. Abandon hope and cast aside thought, Succumb to the overwhelming seed of dark. We touch the stars Through windows of time and years of space, This body has gone to waste. Unburden my being Pray, unhinge the gates of pain! Bathe me in its numbing grip. For in its totality, i seek escape. hahaha i bet zul will recognize one line from that. cos i koped it from CoF! there's one more i wrote, it somewhere in my pile of worksheets... but that one i'm not very proud of. i think it got too ambitious and stuff and i kinda get embarrassed when i read it again HAHA. ah but being the sometimes tak malu person i am, i may just post it here one day. but a few things that will surely make their way to this blog of mine: my version of Hey There Delilah (i haven't forgotten! i've been itching to write it!) some weird letter thing, you'll understand when its here. that bloody penumbra game ah, giving me all these ideas. and penumbra really is an excellent game, i must insist INSIST that you try it out. gamer or not, DUWIT. ok now i'll think of what to do next. till whenever, fout lotsa things mean lotsa things
Written on: Saturday, September 27, 2008
today was my last paper, but i didn't feel the expected rush of freedom i'd expected. not even now, when i know i can stay up for as long as i like, and scare the shit out of myself with penumbra.Time: 1:01 AM this sucks cos i know there's nothing left to worry about, yet i'm still in the same state i was before and during my exams. i've thought about it: maybe i've not been getting enough sleep so i'm still screwed i knew i could have done better for some papers all through the preparation i tried not to think about the last day, just in case i got my focus all wrong. and maybe because of that, i don't know what to feel now that it's here. but that just DOESN'T SOUND RIGHT. i hate this feeling and i want it to end NOW. and one more thing. i'm gonna keep studying through the holidays, and this time, i really really mean it. being in my secondary school (i hate what it's become) for four years has had a big impact on me. i think the absence of major consequences allowed me to slack off a LOT, to the point of being able to do just the right amount of something, just so i can scrape through. it's scary, and i wish i hadn't been that way. NOW, there's this looming consequence of sorts: my A levels. it's gonna be 100% unscrewuppable and i think i'm starting to feel the seriousness of ze situation. i've got no time to waste; at the same time i've got plenty to catch up, move on, and have fun. i HAFTA make good use of my holidays. HAFTA. and i really really wouldn't wanna see my friends who were from different sec schools, start to adopt the complacency i had when i was in ahem. us ahem boys had 4 years to slack all we want, and i think now that that phase's completely over, we're getting serious. the opposite probably holds for the others, though to a certain extent (cos they confirm didn't mug their asses off all four years. that's just INSANE- ly nerdy.) and now i'll proceed to tell you, dear reader, that my next posts will be very disjointed and possibly boring. i'm guessing they'll evoke (am i using the word correctly here? hope so) a distant sense of pissifaction and emptiness deep in your mind, once you've read them; cos you'll realize you didn't gain anything. summat like that. k whatever i'll proceed with the random (i'm starting to dislike this word) things that crossed my mind these few weeks or so. Unwelcome visitor that follows the loved one home, be gone, this house is not yours to tread. (actually got a lot more in my head but it gets damn religionny and weird to phrase. heh.) * no offence to lit students (aka litters. i was one so you kant say i'm being totally unfair here), but whenever they host anything, they tend to repeat each others' lines. WHY?! k i give you live demonstration: 1: welcome to the drama festival! 2:yes, welcome! he's 2, 1: and he's 1, 2: and we'll be your hosts for the day. (and from here on, its mostly impromptu. HAHA.) (ok i'll skip forward to somewhere in the middle of the programme, at the part where they buy time for the next item) 1: SO! 2! have you heard of the dingelberg? 2: the dingelberg? 1: yah the dingelberg 2: have i heard of the dingelberg? 1: OMG. don't tell me you don't know what the dingelberg is. 2: OMG i don't know what the dingelberg is? i hope you get what i mean. or maybe now that i've mentioned it, you'll subconsciously analyze them hosts next time. AND probably notice what i talked about. * Zeroth law of thermodynamics: A loves B and B loves C so A loves C * I am related to all the relatives of my family members. my family members are related to me, so i'm related to myself. in other words, fawaz is my relative. HAH. * when you want that person around, just cos you know he'll perform worse than you, so you won't look so bad. you KNOW that's at the back of your mind, pushing it further won't help; it'll go so deep you won't be able to get rid of it when it comes back to haunt you. if you've got the conscience. or at least self respect (for not lying to yourself i guess) * if you want something done, OPEN YOUR MOUTH. * my planner has quotes for every month. one of them: aim high. even if you fail, you'll still be highwait. what HIGH is this? the high on ganja type of high or the high up in the sky type of high. my bets are for the first. cos when you do something tough you get stressed, so you smoke pot. * did you know, if you stare hard enough at something... you'll get tired. * when i look at these kids and how they behave, i'm disgusted. then i wonder: was i ever like that? then i sigh cos a nagging part of ma head sez yez. and that's the beauty of life, ladies and gentlemen. * it's scary that i voluntarily (VOLUNTARILY!) drank (eww) coffee (ewwwwww) the other day (SIGH). and the worst part of it all was... that... i enjoyed it. NO. NO NONONONONONONO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! WHYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! coffee is an adult thing! something adults get hooked to cos there's barely anything else to look forward to in life! I! DON'T! WANT! TO! BE! A! GODDAMN! ADULT! there's a difference between maturing and becoming an adult (YHECK). i don't wanna be a lame lifeless hopeless enjoyless(REAL enjoyment, not golf... or... stocks or... EMPTY CONVERSATIONS) freak. that's really unfair to many fun adults but that's adult to me. why else is 'adulterated' a negative connotation? heh? heh? can't beat that, can ya! oh man this coffee thing is getting to me... * i had lotsa other thoughts, mostly those you get when you see something. i should probably write them down next time. BUT THEN i'll become an idiot. so i won't. i'll stop here for now. i guess you're saturated. and i'm exasperated. people were emancipated. after this line i would have departed. quick!
Written on: Monday, September 22, 2008
i'm not supposed to be here, but quickly! i'll get this done with!Time: 8:54 PM MORE RANDOM STUFF! WHEEEEEEEEEE! the grim reaper is my soul mate. chocolate rice krispies are not chocolatey in essence. they're just coated in chocolate! THE CHOCOLATE RUNS AWAY IN MILK! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! k dah i forgot everything else. keep studying you idiot, stop wasting your time. you're lying to yourself, you know it. this distraction is NOT welcome. and you know it. dunno whether to say YAY! or ARGH!
Written on: Sunday, September 21, 2008
Time: 11:32 PM PROMOS IN A FEW HOURS! (insert desired exclamation here, font size 72, italicised.) I swear, after my last paper on friday, i'll just lie there. lie and BREATHE. AND AFTER MY LAST PAPER I CAN FINALLY START BATHING AGAIN! GOOD LUCK EVERYONE! just
Written on: Tuesday, September 16, 2008
just some thoughts, don't bother looking for their relationships with ANYTHING.Time: 12:27 AM possibilities are endless 'possibilities' is 'n'-less him and his piss-soaked mattress (there's this stupid mattress that keeps appearing in the strangest of places, in this game Penumbra. i'll upload a picture when i'm free) btw am, i'm not crazy and i don't need any help. IF you keep telling me i do i may, eventually. heh. I HOPE THAT GOT YOU WORRIED! AND GUILTY! :D with my brothers around, every girl i talk to is my girlfriend. and every guy is promptly assigned a female name or associated with a popular female personality. how fun. i cannot TAHAN PASSIVE VOICE k that's it i'm gonna sleep. too much penumbra: requiem
Written on: Sunday, September 14, 2008
Day OneTime: 10:55 PM test subject: myself I have decided to proceed, there is no other suitable candidate. protocol has been followed, and the dosage has been successfully administered. I should not feel any effects for the next week or so. Day Two I woke up feeling rather alert. checked my body for plurometric scars, none yet. I plan to test the last few samples later; hopefully I'll find a stable compound. I do not intend to use it, but a part of me thinks I need to be cautious about this. Day Three I have developed an extreme rash across my back, and my pulse seems to have increased. strangely I am experiencing a rush of intellect. Maybe just an adrenalin surge of sorts, no time to waste have to get back to work day four my nails have started to detach and most of them have fallen off. i can't be bothered, i'm feeling too good. day five i think i've grown taller, though i have to use a stool to reach the lab cabinets. daysix been fidgety and restles cant write forlong dayseven everythingmov ing too fas tfo rmenow day eight i feel fine i really do i've never felt better i think i'm beginnign to control this i hope it is i haven't found a stable compound so far but i'm positive i will soon i just have to keep trying at this rate i cannot fail i'm sure of it Day Nine I didn't wake up this morning, rather emerged from a sort of trance. I feel very composed and suddenly I don't care about anything. I have a lot of time to spare, I haven't decided what to do next. day ten i knew they were chasing me i TOLD HIM THEY WOULD. i've bolted all the doors shut i haven't slept.i am prepared to defend myself, but WHEN?! IF YOU WANT TO TAKE ME DO IT FAST I CANNOT BEAR THE SUSPENSE. HAHAHAHAHAHA ITS STRANGE I CHOSE TO USE THAT WORD! DAY ELEVEN! I AM THE MASTER OF ALL THERE IS, NONE EXIST WITHOUT MY STRENGTH AND ALL THAT PERISH RETURN TO ME. I OVERSEE AND I KNOW ALL. THIS FEELS AMAZING I WISH I DID IT EARLIER. daytioewlve is getiteing wiorse i hacnot conrel my moevmetns neymroe i haev o dinf a cur e or i dujono whar's t gonfgign to wehpapeen toe em, gorsrtata woekr nowwe 13 bad 14ohono i wont'e olast lognn 1 woooooo
Written on: Saturday, September 13, 2008
i gotta need for speedTime: 12:14 AM i gotta need for sleep when the cops come, all i hear is W-W-WOO! when the cops come, all i hear is W-W-WOO! seeing all the things i see, then i think i disagree, its just me talking to me, go away and leave me be i think i see hear and think some more i don't understand i keep quiet i think i see i don't know what to think i try to keep quiet i j k l m n o p ok WAIT don't worry i'm not going crazy, it's a long and intricate (can i use that word in this context?) story, no time to explain now. its organization is SO complex it looks like a mess sye bigh fout oh WOW!
Written on: Thursday, September 11, 2008
SEMPAT SIAK NAK BLOGTime: 3:12 AM (wah kao omg wtf (what the friendly) i still managed to blog) i don't sigh
Written on: Monday, September 08, 2008
drink lots and lots of water. when you need to go to the toilet, you'll get Plain White P's.Time: 10:42 PM i've got lotsa distracting links i'd like to share but i've thought twice about posting them cos some people cannot control their itchy fingers. i want all of you to study hard, cos remember, Barney loves you. i grew up with Barney, by the way... wow, ze evolution of dinosaurs and people. and will somebody get Leona Lewis a doctor. cos when you cut her, she doesn't bleed blood! FOR GOODNESS SAKES, SHE BLEEDS LOVE. LOVE. WHO IN HEAVEN'S NAME BLEEDS LOVE?!?!?! interpret
Time: 1:23 AM
I!!!teach
Time: 1:22 AM
AM!!!understand
Time: 1:21 AM
A!!!learn
Time: 1:20 AM
SPECIES!!!write
Time: 1:19 AM
OF!!!read:
Written on: Sunday, September 07, 2008
FAWAZ!!!Time: 10:40 PM numbuh!
Time: 3:17 AM
oh wow i realized the previous post was number 123.HAHAHAHAHA this made me laugh. (NAWT) so did this (YETH) thime ith running out
Time: 1:22 AM
yeth i know thith thkin ith not very nithe but i just couldn't stand other one anymore AND i didn't have time to make a good one.long story short: new thkin hath to wait. promos first. argh promosssssssssssssss............ PROMOS..................... PROMOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i found this picture on deviantart. (this stupid blogger formatting is giving me a headache) you have to see the picture in its full glory. there's a patch of wetness (heh) a few metres behind USAIN! Bolt. why? my guesses: he swot (past tense of sweat). but WHY did it choose to drip there? SO MUCH OF IT? which means it isn't his sweat. its a strange liquid. WHICH CAN ONLY MEAN: HE'S A CYBORG / ALIEN ze trooth can bee veryvery scaree. aye am only zee bringer of ze news. eet ees you who zecide wat you want soo doo wiz it. and once upon a time, i wasted a lot of time here. be a good boy/girl/thing and get back to werk now. i don't understand it myself
Written on: Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Time: 11:46 PM keeper of the night, book, souls, do you cross paths with the seeker of the truths, company and refuge. (???) i came up with that and it still puzzles me. (?!?!) lately i haven't been getting proper sleep. really crappy sleep. i fell asleep in my dad's car just now, all the way from the mosque to our grandma's place, then back home. worse still, i wasn't completely asleep the whole time. this phrase popped into my head, and by NO chance do i agree with it: i'm drifting through layers of consciousness. actually ah, why do i disagree with it. no, maybe i just don't agree. yeah that's it. i reaaaaaaaaaaaally reeeaaaaaaallllllllly need to speed up my revision, i haven't been doing enough. lotsa things should be put off till after promos, and i should try harder to do that. and something else popped into my head. this sounds damn confucius ah, and i don't know if it's been said BUT here it is anyways: cast no doubts and you will reel in big fish. heh no ah.heh. that's a PUN! hahahahaha sorry i really couldn't tahan. he's got such a nice BIG smile. cos i wanted to put sth like :D:D:D:D:D after the word pun, but that just looks so wrong. so wrong. and i came across this: imitation is the sincerest form of flattery google it if you must. see, i KNOW IT when i see it. i have to sleep soon. i'm not really looking forward to it. yet. a whole lot of words
Time: 12:44 AM
musicovery, if you've got the feelin' but ain't got the tunes. an account might be useful.and did i step forth into the depths of my own, to search if a truth be found. the waves of unknowing do nothing to help as i drift along the sea of questions. to whom can i owe enlightening conversation? for now i am left to make speech with myself. the lock has been found though the door remains covered, and the key to it all lies far hidden from me it may be that i must undo this trespass, if a trespass it be. then how will i know if i am all and nothing, in this sphere that is my everything. perhaps it be better if i forget it all, though i know it will haunt me still. silence, for i am the one whom you belong to and it is my word that you will heed. much can be said though i know the truth, that i am lying to myself; i have no power. i seek guidance from You, Allah, for only You know what i can only dream to see this isn't going to be pretty
Written on: Monday, September 01, 2008
Time: 7:58 PM 21 if you're a J1, that number should mean a LOT to you. SO WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING HERE, GET BACK TO WORK. maybe there's a reason why we don't have eyes at the back of our heads
Time: 1:26 AM
RAMADHAN is here. its like welcoming back an old friend. to my Muslim brothers and sisters: make good use of these 30 days. we may not live to see the next Ramadhan. i will not preach here for i am no wiser than the rest of you, so i'll leave you with this: may Allah reward you for your ibadah, forgive you of your sins, protect you and your family, shower you with rezeki and strengthen your iman. Ameen. to my non-Muslim friends: may God reward you for your good deeds, forgive you of your sins, protect you and your family and bless you. so what if you believe in another God. i'm a human being and you are too. if we were to be calculative about this we won't get anywhere. i've still to post my version of 'hey there delilah'. i'm not gonna do that now cos its gonna take waaaaaaaaaay to long, and i've gotta sleep. speaking of sleep, i've been having cRaZy dreams for the past few days; from the time my eyes close till i wake up, bloody strange images kacau my rest. and its made worse when i've got no motivation to stay awake. that means its back to crazyland. OH SHIT I JUST REMEMBERED I HAVEN'T DONE MY GEOG ESSAY. KCIAOI'MGONNADOIT,ITWASDUEANHOURAND43MINSAGO |
moved
|
persons
|
timewarp
|