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therealshard
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Clean properly tau
Written on: Tuesday, September 29, 2009
AMACAM POINT FIVE INCHES DOWN, baik ah. Baik pala HOTAK KAU. Perr jerr Fawaz. Although it was all made up for when I tried to do pull ups and felt my whole frickin' arm getting pulled too far from my body then WHOA, I just had to let go. Sometimes you gotta let go, son. Its alright.Time: 10:41 PM Eh but more importantly I think you should all know the truth, that I'm Kamen Rider Faiz. 555 is my transform code, and I have five exceed charge capabilities. I'm damn pro. Note to self: hangar is a tag for ANGRY. Other than that, Fauzan you're damn annoying, yeah read this, go on, can't do nuttin' bout it lalalalalallala. K tak nampak... walking behind me... looking at his books. Oh stopped making fun of me already. Keka what does lamunan mean? Lamunan? I think it means thoughts. Yeah k correct. Alright I'll take back what I said. Eh he called me keka ok, think about it ah, no wait, when I think about it, I feel so touched he calls me keka even when I'm such an ass. There's that respek there. Respek ah bro. But however touched I feel, I swear I'll freak out if there's physical contact somehow, when you're too far to reach me. Then we'll all know there are mysterious forces out there waaaaaaiting to touch me. See no touch, touch no see, see and touch pay money. Eh bye ah boring to blog now, I think I wanna sleep again, then sleep some more. I can't get enough of it now! From nocturnalism I'm now in a phase of... uh... sleepizm, yeah man Arif it feels loike shoite but I love it. Stayyy coooooooolllll hang loose. And get smart, bye. Hello, Aroma reeds, a room of leads Labels: MB, no ligaments, sleeping patterns Sunday Sleepy Sunday
Written on: Sunday, September 27, 2009
Time: 9:42 PM I'm still trying to decide if MD was a waste of time today, but as usual I think I'll lose interest before I know it. Thing is, I wanted to go out afterwards. Bros' exams comin' so I can't go playin the PS or on the com, Fauzan had tuition so even more no com, and its quite damn boring like this at home. Just around fourish I was standing around trying to plan my day, when all of a sudden I fell in love with this mattress that was folded and neatly tucked away in a corner of my study room. That was the spare mattress that was once upon a time used a lot because - brace yourself - either one of the three brothers didn't wanna bathe but didn't wanna 'dirty' his bed. Not that we're dirty, cos we know when we can afford not to bathe. Its also a lotta fun to sleep in the hall. And once upon a time, I was in love with the hall too. I pulled out the mattress (effortlessly cos my muscles have since grown ten times bigger hahahhah sempat seyyy k I take that back, liars go to hell), lay it on the study room, and promptly slept in my jeans. Not bad, quite comfortable I must say. I ended up waking at 6:40, and the rest of the day was quite uneventful. I wanted to sleep after Maghrib, but I was too tired. Hah seriously, and I didn't wanna waste my wudhuk. And now I'm wondering why I'm telling whoever you are, all about my sleeping patterns. And why you're even still reading hahahah you amuse me, I like you! Carmen likey. That was from Raymond Chandler's The Big Sleep. Though if you must imagine me saying that, I deeply regret your situation. Somehow I find this picture strangely mezzmerizing: Other than that I think I should just reveal (makes it sound so much more impressive hah) the last part of my poem of sorts. Its been jumping around in my bag and has creeped everyone out at home. Tulah, experimental magic has its price. 3/3 Now their bodily remains were found by some chance, By a fellow, oh how unlucky! But then he would know the dangers that mask, Behind all that is nice and shiny He retched and he cried at the sight of the mess, Of pink and of white, red and insides, Laid about bones and some skin, Eyeballs all burnt from within Quickly he ran to the town crier's house, Where the holy man was also close by He told of his finding, so hard he was crying, "Someone tear the putrid sight from mine eyes!" "Come now young man, you shall have a bath In holy water as I say a prayer. Remember, however, God has you preserved For He has ensured you will remember "Remember that He is the only Light, And we only turn to Him. Remember that no good can come from another, For He is the One True Creator" "Yes I'll remember, I won't ever forget, That He is the only Creator God bless, how I recall what I would have done, Just a day prior to this! "I am a poor man, there is much that I want, Yet nothing has come from my prayers. I was so desperate, so very intent, On turning to the Damned one for pittance! "Oh thank you my Lord, for bringing me back, And showing me the harsh consequences. I nearly forgot, and nearly stept off, To the path of no deliverance." The man had his bath, then a hot meal (he ate quick), Then the three of them set off from there. The town crier did, what only he could do, And soon the whole town was aquiver. The tale had been told, the word had been spread, What a fair warning to the people, too. All day and all night, the town was abuzz, With the face of the wretched crew. On the next day, just before dawn, A group marched on to the house (That wretched house) With torches and oil and holy books (As they marched to the wretched old house) They were solemn and walked in silence, Each praying in his heart (For who knows what lurked in that wretched house?) For protection, for forgiveness (As well as for the wretched ones) As they silently trudged out of town. They finally came to it and wasted no time, Oiling the path to be burned, CHanting their prayers in unison, Lighting the torches and casting the flame, To send back to Hell what stubbornly came, To clean up the land and to make it safe, Ridding the evil and bringing in pureness, And clearing the mess deep within, The mess of once people now abominations, No one could set eyes on those villains, And the Earth would not take their remains. The task was complete, They made their retreat, And walked back in the glow of the sun. FINALLY I'm done typing this mak-panjang-nyer step-poem. Oh and I chose town crier cos that was the first thing that came to me. As though he's damn influential. Fat, cherubic, fat, fat, loud and a nice person, can you imagine the town crier. Compared to the holy man who makes you feel so incompetent (assuming the unlucky young man is not a good person). Oh wait maybe he wasn't but but but but but but who cares if the clock goes twice round in the wrong direction, as long as I have my rest. All I'm trying to say is I never did walk the path, it laid itself beneath me and now I'm following, as it follows me, without knowing, yes again and again? Do you really want to? Wait I've got to ask myself first. Well who needs sugarpills when we've got sleep vacations and crescent moons to light the dinner table. There's chairs for everyone so find a new table, we need the company. Have you been searching long? Then look in the books, you might find something you left there awhile ago. Isn't it obvious that the demons of our past have just one task left, and that the two months of idle are too fast approaching. Where will you run when the doors open huh huh huh. Doesn't really matter to me cos I take it walking anyway, let it skim, let it pass, too much to not care about so you can care about everything else. You know what, I think I'm gonna sleep again. There's nothing for me to do and I'm gonna get back to studying soon anyway. I hope everyone's break has been many times better than mine, for the simple reason that I like people to be happy. That makes me happy. But I'm more restless and angry that unhappy, though that all leads to happiness. Not a long run thing, rather instantaneous. Its all mapped the same way you see. But where does this all lead to you ask? Then look no further, she has one answer. It may be strange, but I'm so looking forward to going back to school. With the A levels looming there, I need something to keep my system organized systematically emphatically nonchalantly, while brusquely vivifying the echelons of continuity. I can't stand this feeling of asymptotic freedom, like I can do half of whatever I want when I really can't, because there's a lot waiting to be done. And left by myself, I've got nothing to pull me away from the things I don't want to be around. I can't really speak for myself yet maybe, like I'm unable to do what's right for me. They all snicker at me, question me and set their expectations. They have nightmares but I'm living in one (this line's not true, I just came up with it and found it pretty cool). Have you heard the laughter? Even their mockeries are insincere. LOOK the next time you're walking down the street, you'll see all that we have to fight. But I've got new weapons and I love to share, so are you on my side or not. Either way, we'll all get rid of them bit by bit, there won't be anywhere to hide once the walls are flattened. See, they're still laughing at me, and sometimes they let it slip in front of me. I spelt stake instead of steak because I was still thinking of vampires. Amma go back and change it cos over here you can. I hope you're still not reading cos I'm trigger happy and the keyboard's my gun. I'm just sitting back letting my thoughts fly and fingers tap dance, no head no tail. Letters coming together to form words, words to form sentences, them for paragraphs, yet everything is disjointed. Funny, eh? Small scale logic and sense that translates to a whole lot of confusion and pain in your brain. Where did the links go wrong and who has the chains. I think I should stop this, it may be getting unhealthy. But for who I can only wonder. I hope this is not a negative externality cos this really isn't the time for a cost benefit analysis and I don't want any intervention over here. SO get the hell off my blog and instead keep safe, stay sharp, get smarter, look at the sky and don't look back. Hello, You make a better me so why not, go ahead Labels: famous words, no ligaments, poems, sharing machine, sleeping patterns 15 questions
Time: 1:40 AM
As usual, I woke up for sahur in a complete daze. My mom was desperately trying to get my to heave my ass off my bed and I was like huh? What 5r? And all the bloody gravitation equations forced themselves into my head. Then for some reason OH! I understood what the hell was going on. So I sat up. And sat for a little while cos its such an ass to wake up when you can be sleeping. But then Muma said she'd heated up the meat. The meat. MEAT. A whole bloody steak was waiting for me, how not to wake up liddat.Right before I slept at 6, I set my alarm to 10. Did all my calculators and that would give me enough sleep to HENSHIN from gym ha kho. 10 am came and I woke at the instant my alarm sounded. Ahh heck wth is there to do anyway, so I slept again. Kept waking up, everytime getting updated about how my family's day progressed while I lay on my bed. Diorang sempat kluar sumer lol I was quite amused. In other news, yesterday was MB Reanimated ttm, shoulda taken many photos of the great occasion. Nehmind there are always more sessions blah blah blah. You know why David Cook wrote a song about Light On. He was in a toilet where they OMG WTH DID I JUST PRESS now everything's twice as huge in my browser. K nevermind blessing for my eyes. As I was saying, that toilet has all the funkay energy saving sensor thingamajigs. So obviously he's taking a shit, and a huge one at that, so he experiences many moments where the lights turn off. Therefore he has a hard time keeping the light on. He's so emotionally affected that he writes a song, and attaches human qualities to the toilet light. 1 mouse many mice 1 mouth many mithe. And now see if you recognize these: So you had a back day (another gym ha kho connotation) And I need you today oh candy. Optionally spelt Candy. Or Canday, depends on your fancy. Oh and I woke at 2:30 in the end, but didn't really wanna, just felt I gotta. Totally no reason to wake up when you've got nothing to look forward to, I've gotta start planning exciting things or lying to myself or something. Oh wait! Today was an exception, it came unexpectedly quickly. Ok can that means the rest of my break is settled. Keep safe blah blah blah blah DRINK LOTSA WATER Hello, Take a look at my super cool deceivingly luminous waistband Labels: famous words, MB, no ligaments, sleeping patterns Your full-fledged fear
Written on: Thursday, September 24, 2009
Amacam korang, nerd enough so far? Exams finishing, time to do whatever you think you're gonna do but not do in the end HAH. K ah on a more posimistic/possumistic (my word) note, remember you're all DAMN SMART. Not too smart but still DAMN SMART, so go on and do well for yeh frickin' exams!Time: 7:26 PM Meanwhile I'll be blogging like nothing's going on muahahahhaha. Alright back to the chase. Where we last left off, I will continue today. Huh what? What? The POEM. Let's do this study notes style. In 1/3, we are introduced to a certain character thus far only referred to as 'it'. This being of sorts has displayed sinister characteristics and is on its way somewhere. Where that place is we have only a vague idea, but it is not a pleasant place. Let us now join the blighted group and see what adventure they are about to embark on... 2/3 "Come forth holy spirit And grant us thy presence So is our wish upon thee Such is the want of thy children "Five cups we've shed And five more at speed, Thus far we've been led By the guidance of the script" Then again: "Come forth holy spirit (oh no I'm not holy) And grant us thy presence (you are undeserving) So is our wish upon thee (you wish? you wish?! you wish!!) Such is the wish of thy children (I never did burden you weaklings) "Five cups we've shed (for what have you bled?) And five more at speed (who are you trying to feed) Thus far we've been led (not by me unto me) By the guidance of the script" (But by fools to a foolish end) So it cackled once more, amused for sure, By the actions of these puny mice As they kept chanting it rose one last time Before bleaching their souls with its ice They gaped and they choked, all eyes uprolled, As the creeping of freezing took control Bodies fell back and tongues fell out As their spines were bent back, what a toll! What white and what red emerged from their eyes, Ears, mouth and every hole As the spirit caressed in its gentle arrest While tightening its unending hold Their bodies were broken and crumpled and bloated The pain that no human has felt! Nor dreamt of feeling, much less than comprehending, And yet they stirred and they knelt! From head hanging back and arms falling slack, To the white of the eyes and loll of the tongue Nay, was this them, this great upset But the pulling on the string by the master Too much anguish, it did not vanish Their souls threatened to escape But the cold hands pulled and kept them in To endure more pain, what a fate! They bled and they bled, And their bones burst within, As bodies became useless bags, With nothing but lumpish filling Then when it had bored itself of this fun, Out came the souls, violently flung Down fell the bodies from their position And silently the corpses wept The seven souls wailed, still burning, still hurting, As they were snatched up on by the head In grasp of one giant unforgiving claw, Of the force that they foolishly reckoned "They have been punished and taken, my master, All ready to act at your bidding" "Then come, my son, you have done enough, I have other tasks that are more fitting" Through darkest earth and blackest space The seven corrupt whispers were dragged, To a place of more howls, a very strange place, The home of the damned and the butchered There they were tossed, onto a burning heap To await whatever next came Verily their suffereing would be naught but unending To toil everyday by the flame Cursed in life, cursed in death, Every bit of existence was stained When much had been given, more had been desired That was the start of their game That would lead to no end that a sane man would recommend, That would stir others to repent, Had they seen what lay await, What, do you think, would have been? That's the end of this part, one last step-poet part left haha. There were seriously a lot of parts where I felt like smacking my forehead while typing, and I was super tempted to leave comments around, but nahhh, that would spoil the whole mood tone feel flavaa. I hope it wasn't too bad, cos if it is, then ): lol either way you gotta start somewhere, no one falls out of the sky! To land on a cloud! ASSUMING it can support your weight. After all, isn't it ju- hooooold your horses there, self-restraint in action. Once more, I'm in my thinking moods. When I'm all alone, walking home, then I realize its quite a sad world really. I look around me, to see all the closed minds, black hearts, sad lives, lonely souls and pathetic creatures mechanically going about their day. Then again, everything is what you make it out to be, no? And I'm determined to die happy and fulfilled. So I won't hesitate no more noooo more it cannot wait I'm listening to this song and I got carried away hahah. Eh did he just say comBLAcate? Its from the Cassa Nova sessions. Anyway I was saying, I'm not gonna care for the small inconsequential things, not gonna stress myself out unnecessarily like so many others. Life is too fun and too beautiful to waste away taking yourself too seriously. And I can't wait to go shoppinggggg. Wait, what's that, I heard something. What? What was that? A snicker? I heard that. Wait, what?! Gay? Softee? What? Some more, lemme hear some more. No not you, the other person. Well lemme tell you just how many I am when I shop. I beat up all the sales assistants, tear the clothes I try on, spit when I feel like it. I don't talk, I shout thinking everyone's interested in my life, I don't bathe. In fact I make it a point to roll about in mud and feces and crap and go a week in the same clothes. And when I've chosen something, I unabashedly fight for further discounts, harass the cashier, and exclaim loudly before snatching away my bag and storming out into the crowd outside. Then I shoulder my way through, push grannies aside, step on children, kick other adults around, and flip up the cups of people walking and drinking. Haha stereotypes damn fun ah sia. I cried sial. OH! The other day I stepped into the lift with another someone, who held the lift for me. I said thanks. She said nothing. At my floor I turned back, smiled and said bye, and she got a shock hahaha. Serious sia she was like half smiling to herself looking at that damn interesting spot on the floor, then looked up with a start at my greeting. Tak sempat answer me, cos by the time she regained composure she was already at her house. Moral of the story. I'm gonna start this, I'm gonna greet everyone, EVERYONE I see in the lift. So when you realize Singaporeans are more gracious, think of me. HAHAHAHHAHA wtf that's too much already. This ends now. Since I've left this out in a few posts, I spoke to therealshard and he has agreed to ask you to keep safe, stay sharp and get smarter and maintain, tenfold. He also wants you to smile more. Hello, A stake through your heart is a steak on my plate Labels: famous words, komentatr, poems, repotr, thoughts Shrinkage reversalis
Written on: Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Something I wrote on the morning of Econs paper 2, and continued and eventually finished today... while studying physics But its all good, all good, I still studied, still mugged my ass off, still good still good. This is part one of three, I wanna step suspense. No title, so...Time: 8:40 PM 1/3 One dark afternoon, a dark afternoon A shadow streaked quick through the fields Where rain had wet and winds had swept All was peaceful except where it leapt The ground fizzled and burnd, Flowers shrivelled and withered From green to black they turnd All life had ceased and hardened It crept beside the footpath, Under the bridge and over the trees Where birds dropt from atop T'was a lifeless menagerie Then finally the scent was strong And it leapt with greater strides still If you listened carefully, you could surely hear its song It would definitely send down a chill And now the cursed house was in sight Where the cursed ones dug a grave of their plight Not earth, not water, but they demanded flight So blinded and greeded by the tempts of might There in a circle they sat breaths abated Their hands clasped round each others' And their pulses united, seven souls mated As they waited for the hour, t'was fated Off went the lights, and there was no flicker Then the room was filled with a chill As it approached you could hear faintly its snicker Was it too low or too shrill? The damned souls sat, and still they waited, For a circus show was not what they wanted. Blood had been shed, an altar created Their intentions could be no more blatant First one voice started, and the others joined chorus, The call to invoke the Evil. More flesh was cut and still more red dripped Seven souls, sins, all a swirl It laughed and it cackled at the amusing display And swooped around for a bit more It brushed their black hearts and kissed on their tongues For now was the time to play... Alright that's all for now, I hope my genius suspense plan works hahaha. Its a damn seven pages long on my sheets of paper, and you're lucky you don't have to read my lovely handwriting. Did you notice the coolio speeling in the first stanzas, where I wrote dropt instead of dropped hahaha. It just felt damn cool and I just had to do it, but could not be bothered to remain consistent afterwards. Confirm got a lot of mistakes up there (though I'm prepared to defend the apparent contradiction in the first stanza. Seriously, I'm the last person you wanna argue with). In other interesting news, I bought new underwear the other day: Don't worry, I took special care to make sure you don't see anything you don't wanna (or wanna? Ok let's NOT GO THERE), its just my underwear bounded by my shirt and pants. Both black. Me always in black. WHY ah sia like I'm not black enough muahahahha. Anyway I was sorely disappointed that it does NOT GLOW IN THE DARK. {{{{{{{[[[[[[[(((((((NOOOOOO)))))))]]]]]]]}}}}}}} But my mama said there's another one out there that glows, amma gonna look for it. I darkened the whole hall to test it ah, that shows you how serious I am about the glow capacity of my underwear. And something on my physics notes. Yeah I study! And now this, cos I just uploaded all my photos to tha com: Cool vibes. There were two other photos I wanted to share... Um not today I think, they're not very uhhh pleasant. And I don't wanna taint this post! Its glowing and shining now as far as I'm concerned, I'll dirty another post some other time. Btw I half resolved the frackin' iTunes problem. And yeah that girl does look like Paula Abdul. EH. Gym esok, amacam amacam. Location man, location location location puasa tak puasa gym jangan tak gym. Hello, That's what you thought now, really? Labels: MB, no ligaments, poems, sharing machine Positive Planes!
Written on: Sunday, September 20, 2009
Eh first wtf lah, I can't believe you, what are you doing to me.Time: 12:50 AM PREVIOUS iTUNES LIBRARIES?! WHY ARE YOU GIVING ME THIS SHIT! First I went through all the trouble of sorting out all your smart ass rearrangements, how you anyhow rename files and chuck them in a stupid iTunes library folder. Now I update your smart ass and you mess everything up aGAIN. What's up with the shit sound quality? I don't think its my speakers, they're not scheduled to die yet. Musicmatch Jukebox, why did you have to go, whyyyyy. Nevermind I'll figure this out some other time, its what I do. Anyway I was playing Need for Speed Underground (when the cops come all I hear is woo woo woo) with my headphones on, and I just realized how much easier it makes my life. I can hear where my opponent is coming from, so being the bastard driver I am I can swerve into his lane and prevent him from overtaking me. This SO beats checking the rear view mirror cos that's just lame. Yeah I played, cos I need this shit. It's been so long, too long, I can't stand studying all the way even though its damn mother fun lol. Whatever it is korang jangan nerd sangat ah. Take breaks and shit why doncha (wish your break was fun like mine). So I cut meat just now. I can't remember the last time I did, but I was a little apprehensive at first. Half of it wasn't really that super cold anymore, so I could feel the flesh in its absolute fleshiness, how much it resembled what lies under my skin. And I didn't even know which part of the cow it was (found out later its somewhere along the back or something like that ah), so it was super mystery. The most important thing was, the images from the vid on Saiful's facebook was still fresh in my head, so I was like sialah what if this was a person. And THAT! made me wanna do it even more! I just showered and stuff but I was half hoping for blood to spurt everywhere or something. It didn't, duh, but I had a lot of fun slicing through the red goodness. By the time I had finished, the meat had become softish, and I liked how it wobbled around when you, uh, wobble it. How vulnerable. Then it occurred to me just how much patience it must take for a murderer to slice up the corpse of his victim and do shit to it. So now I'm quite confident that I don't wanna be a murderer, its damn leceh. And think about it, where the hell are you gonna hide the corpse? This is Singapore. If anything, there's always some kepo snooping around, and then your plan's busted. I will follow you into the dark... ...only because I wanna know what kinda monster lies waiting there. Once I see it I'll split, what you do I don't care hahahha. Its not bad a song, the actual thing. K I needa sleep now gotta wake up early, gotta train mah body. You keep safe stay sharp get smarter and open your eyes more Hello, All in one breath Labels: hangar, repotr, thoughts Amma bust someone's ass if no one starts talking
Written on: Saturday, September 19, 2009
First of all I'd like to wish two people a very happy birthday (though its waaaay past midnight let's just make assumptions so our lives will be a lot easier): they are Syafiq, and his biceps.Time: 3:31 AM Happy birthday bro. Happy birthday to you too biceps. May you see success in all your ohn day voos and gym sessions (gym damn important ok), and maybe you'll keep changing to more Oakley glasses, cool per. K dah we should leave him now, I heard he reacted very emotionally to our surprise thingy, after tarawih plus plus. Wait don't take my word for it, ask him yourself. But other truths include that his family is damn cool ah, and after meeting his PS3, I've decided, that's what I wanna get. Not a 360, nattawhee, ha pee esh three. Cos its just too frickin' sexy. Now on to less important things ceyyyy jangan kembang ah tu. Seriously sak go and watch every damn chapter of Trapped in the Closet, its very well written sung acten (not acted, its acten) and the story's some deep shit that's got me trippin' here. And that video Saiful shared, there's some crazy shit at the end so don't watch if you're the type to hurl. I know I did, and now I'm having a real hard time typing over my vomit, its all over the table. Ah shit again, now some of it's splashed onto the keyboard, man this sucks. I'll probably clean it up tomorrow or something, its Goddamn three forty am I can't be bothered to do housework at this time, you gadda be kiddin' me. Eh Zul kau nyer link fail, so here's boxxy for everyone. She's so crazy she's driving me crazyyy Her eyes ah omg her eyes, when she stares square at the screen I half freak out, I think all I really wanna do is punch her in her pretty little face, that might set a lot of things right and get rid of all these ZOINGness vibes she givin' me. I hope for her sake she's really not that retarded. Oh yah Zul sorry again ah the bloody weights are so damn heavy (heavy? HEAVY?!). I intended to get threes, but my dad salah nampak so there you go, fives to sit by the cookies. Takper ah still too light for you, so you can still take it that we're mocking you with those dumbbells. ABOUT DUMBBELLS. Seriously, Fads' explanation made sense what! Maybe you didn't get it cos she was giggling most of the time, and repeated too many words too too too many many many times times times times times heh no offence ah. So I'll briefly explain the theory here. The old skool dumbbell is made of a- sialah I just went through the would-be descriptive text in my head, I realized it just sounds so damn wrong hahahhaa I'll leave it out. RAMADHAN, REMEMBER! Time to make a change, make a better place for you and forty. ANYWAY, look at half of the dumbbell. It looks like the thing in an actual bell, that knocks against the outer casing to make the sound. Right? Good. BUT! These weights you carry don't make a noise! So they're mute, dumb! Dumbbells! Cos mutebells just sounds shite! Three fifty am I gotta go soon, OH SHIT ITS APPROACHING FOUR WHATTTTTT?!?!?!. I cannot keep this up ah, I don't wanna sleep I wanna sleep I cannot sleep I can sleep all at the same time, and my low discipline always kicks in. Takper, kiter kan ader skeel of super power. Aper eh aku nak tulis tadi... I swear there was a lotta shit I wanted to give you ah. Now its all lost somewhere, I can't seem to remember. Oh (its what you do to me) well (you dawned on me and you bet I felt it) I (can't feel the way I did before) don't (stay, forget all memories) care (bear HAHAHHA), shit someone just woke up at three fifty six am I am SO screwed. Shhh. Wait. Listen. EH KEYBOARD BISING AH. Silence. Footsteps? !!! SILENT WALKER! I saw my nenek and she saw me, I'm officially screwed though she won't yell at me, it keels me silently. Come on Fawaz you can sleep early next time, all you gotta do is go to bed dammit. Takper, kiter kan ader skeel of super power. K dah cukop enough of this shit I'm gonna sleep on the floor again I so love the floor I tell you. EH NO WAIT! SOFAAAAA! Sofa sleeping is man's greatest invention, I'm proud to be man. therealshard wishes you'd open your eyes the next time you find a seat at the library, look to the corners in case your eyes ain't big enough/IQ not high enough (how mean of me)/you seriously don't get what I said. He also wants all of you goons to be safe, stay sharp and get smarter. Hello, I am from your future thoughts Labels: famous words, MB, no ligaments, repotr, sharing machine, sleeping patterns Thank the animals the get out of there
Written on: Thursday, September 17, 2009
This will be a shorty of sorts before I get back to econs. Lovely lovely econs, its starting to make sense, I just hope my sense equals normal sense. AND that I can remember everything and not suddenly notice the cramp in my neck and then get carried away with feeling bored cos I have to sit down for SO GODDAMN LONGGGG!!!!Time: 11:10 PM EXAM DEI! NOT TORTURE! SO WHY! WHYYY!!! WWWWWHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In other news. I was supposed to wake up at eightish on Wednesday to go and study at the library while all the chemists chemistized and chasticized and characterized (so I heard it was a hard paper, but nevermind just shut up and move along, yall to smart for this shit! And anyway who asked you to take chem huh huh huh. Its fun being me, I'm gonna learn everything only after my A's, which is soooo much easier on my lifeforce). But! As always something has to happen and this time, I overslept not once but a few times, before finally waking up at 4 pm, rushed to catch Zuhur, then later Asar. But what followed next wasn't work! Nay, my mind was too distracted by the musings of some brilliant minds on the web, and it soon led me on a journey towards the discovery of many different truths. That journey is incomplete as I had to sever it before it grew too deep with roots, for I had a higher calling. And that calling was fizz. And it came only late at night when, yes, I was alone once more. Everyone had retired, Mishari Rashid had stopt his recitation, and it was just me and the night. So I studied and I studied, I think I enjoyed myself, maybe too much, and couldn't stop. Partly because I felt I had to make up for the lost time. Stupid, I know. Cos I only finished at 4, and though I should sleep in the hall so my mom can kick me when it was time for sahur. BUT. My dad had apparently fallen asleep on the sofa and I had trouble falling asleep cos of his snoring. Not that it disturbed me, I just felt like laughing. Ehh I'm a very easily amused person lah what to do. In the end I must have dozed off cos an hour later the lights were on and my mom was calling me up. As I tried to sit up I struggled to divide 2kd over my plate, and stared hard to figure out the denominator. The semiconductors were somewhere on the table so I had to wake up to A naught. And here I am, hours since that hour, without a wink of sleep in between. How DO I manage to do all sorts of shit, I so love myself hahahhaa. Myself! Talking about myself! I was very lucky to get a table on the second floor of the library, right beside the big ass bright windows, all to myself! Just me! It was damn bright there (seriously the third floor is so much dimmer once you've experienced the glorious big ass window) and I was finally left all alone. I can't tell you how thrilled I was. It was the best time of my life, I was so productive I might have even been reproductive. Ok NO that was SO wrong, so out of place. Sowie. EH WHAT SOWIE SOWIE ITS SORRY. SORRY WITH AN AARRRRRR. I was super at peace, except when the idiots in front of me got carried away with their blabber. But it wasn't annoying enough for me to hurt them, and besides, I was telling myself that I will be a nice person. Don't malukan orang and be nice all the way, every way, all the wayyy. But somehow every time someone came to my table they had to ask me why I was alone. Hoi. Solitude. I'm an extroverted solitaire. Not that I hate yall, I love all my friends I really do, but I just prefer to go alone. I did so much work and had enough time to stare out the window at the Bosch building, and explore a few interesting thoughts, so I have this to share: (Its incomplete and very debatable, but no time for that today) REASONS YOU SHOULD BE ALONE, LIVE ALONE, DO THINGS ALONE: - You only have yourself to rely on. The blame is yours, so are the expectations and responsibilities - You don't tread into others' space and no one gets into yours - No need to change something for someone else - You're not committed to anyone, which makes you the best person to seek help from. People don't have to consider politics or shit when they want to talk to you. You will help, and ask for it when you need it. - You can care without the burden of a relationship or emotional responsibility - You can be sincere - No being held down by others, nor pulling people where they don't want to go - People are difficult to be around sometimes, it gets tiring - Never forced to share. You learn to do it wholeheartedly, provided you have the discipline and sense to do so - You have al the time for yourself and prayer. People tend to forget God because of other people That said, people should not behave like others don't exist. Smile at people, say nice things, prevent that stranger from falling when the train comes to a sudden halt, even if that person was trying to act cool. Be nice to everyone and everything, and remember that He is always watching you. Which brings me to Ramadhan again. Subhanallah, Ramadhan is such a blessed month. But many people are not seeing this, and I want you to think about that. I happened to watch a clip on Nickelodeon: How to survive Ramadhan. First reaction, what?! Then, The narrator started telling us how we can get over the hunger pangs. Sleep through the afternoon and wake just when its time to break fast! Problem solved! Final reaction, WHAT?! My dear non-Muslim friends, I regrettably inform you that you have the wrong impression of Ramadhan. We do not starve ourselves. We remember the plight of those who do not have like we do, and we cleanse ourselves and dedicate heart and soul to worshiping Allah, to get closer to him. Don't go away with the impression that Muslims are suffering because of Ramadhan. Verily those who say so have sadly forgotten the purpose of their fast. So please, refrain from commenting on something which you do not have a full understanding of. Yes, I'm very touched by your involvement in our holy month: radio stations announce the time for break fast, and people know what is going on. This is all very good, and is a desirable thing. After all, peaceful coexistence is the way to go. But then, limit your interpretations and comments, for they may have dangerous consequences. Do this for your sake. I just thought, from my experience, a lot of people don't comment so much about how the Hindus carry their Kavadis. To me, that is something only which they will understand, for it is their obligation. As an outsider, I will only observe, understand what I can, and accept them for who they are. I go no further than that. Alas, the fault also lies in us Muslims! My brothers and sisters (chey macam ustaz ni), it is YOU who must not send the wrong message of fasting. Do not make excuses for yourselves because you are lazy. If you don't know enough about something, find out, for that is what Allah asks of his worshipers. It is you who complain of hunger and you who do not see the specialty of Ramadhan, that has caused our non-Muslim friends to get the wrong idea. And those who are not, are then easily influenced by the wrong ideas. Think! Don't just whine and complain when things don't go in your favour, when people start making fun of Islam... Then later go back to your state of insufficient knowledge, and of not doing the right things when you have to. If you stagnate, don't expect everyone to fall back and wait for you. This applies to everyone, even all my dear friends from planet j'v'ah. And yes, I haven't forgotten about the transmittent upgrade I promised you. And since I'm still typing, I wanna talk a bit about the whole strong person thing, you know who you are heh. Its not that I think I have to be strong all the time, or that I shouldn't disturb people with my problems. I don't put up and act, and I show my weaknesses, maybe people just don't notice. And I will not share my 'problems' with my friends, because, really, what good advice can a fellow adolescent give. All of you have your own problems, not all solved, and your 'maybe this maybe that' advice will not help. I just like being alone, and I'm in control of this. You must all accept that I'm not like everyone else hahahha. THINK! When was the last time you met someone like me. Soooo, don't measure me by the common human standard. I am detached from that, I am very different, I'm so loving it, please leave me alone. Somehow I think I still didn't get or address your point but nevermind, I need to talk about more important things now. I NEED A NEW CONSOLE! It pains me that my beloved PS2 is coughing and dying, I love it with all my heart, I'll never throw it away... I think. I need a new console, but PS3 or XBOX360? A huge part of me is leaning toward the latter. You get to play Little Big World and some Ninja Gaiden shit and dunno what, that's enough of a reason for me. STILLLL, this is all excitement to be contained till after the biggies, and I will do that starting now. If you somehow read till here in one sitting, you seriously have nothing better to do. I feel so sorry for you, yet that's the extent of my emotional reaction. If you're a student then this is for you: YOU'RE SMART YOU'RE SMARTER THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE THINK LIKE A GENIUS AND YOU'LL FIND THAT YOU CAN BE ONE STUDY YOUR ASS OFF BECAUSE YOU WANT TO BECAUSE YOU CAN YOU'RE ALL CAPABLE OF ACHIEVING WHATEVER GRADES YOU WANT SO DO IT, DAMMIT OK I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF INSPIRATIONAL TALK I'M GETTING NAUSEOUS. therealshard wants you to be safe, stay sharp and get smartER Hello, Would you like a piece of me, I'm high in protein Labels: advice, famous words, no ligaments, sleeping patterns, thoughts They're all too close for my good
Written on: Monday, September 14, 2009
Are you ready?Time: 10:13 PM We have language as a means to express ourselves. We need others to know what we're thinking, and we need to be on the same level. Language. Expression of self. Art too is an expression of self, where the artist translates his ideas and thoughts into any form - called art. Art has no rules. People once thought art should follow a certain standard, but great minds emerged with their revolutionary styles and changed everyone else's perception. Now no one defines art. So why should we hold language in the same shackles. There are no need for rules in language, because its only purpose is to express. As long as your idea gets across, its done its job, no issues there. So I can keep on making up words. Then why do why have so many rules in the first place? Tenses, speeling, sentence structure and all that shit. Because man is under the illusion that he is in control. The young mind believes that everything is within his reach and consequences escape him. Then when he's slightly older and mature enough to peek over the fence of youth, he realizes that he is not that in control. So he does his best to maintain that illusion, to craft a wall of hopes and rules around himself, to preserve the fragile fantasy that he hopes to live in forever. But they don't hold, and when he is finally old, he succumbs to the truth that he is powerless. When you are old and your body starts to fail you, then you'll realize you can do nothing about it. This next bit of the argument is from some author whom I cannot recall, it was published as extra text in a version of Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 911. You tend to see more older people at religious places, and old people tend to get religious, because finally they accept that they have no control, that it is all God's will. Good people, stop trying to fool yourself then. Tear down your pillars of hubris that have thus propped you, and left you precariously perched on the top of a dangerous and steep hill of lies. Accept the truth and drop all attempts to resist. We will move faster swimming downstream, and we will end up at a wonderful place. A waterfall is beautiful and magnificent, no? Are you still braced? I'm thinking about how I'm feeling now. What is this. Am I depressed. Is this what its like to be depressed? Why do people hate it so much, I love it. I've never felt so in control and so aware of everything. I am happier when I'm depressed, irony aside. Isn't a light more obvious in a dark room? When I'm like this I appreciate the good things better, though I may remain in my sullen mood. My mind goes into overdrive and I'm exceptionally quiet. But I'm convinced you need some discomfort to stir the cognitive gears. That's why you feel 'unsettled', you're getting out of your stagnation. Still, I cannot run away from the truth that I am sad, but I wholeheartedly believe sadness to be a beautiful thing. I don't know if this is getting any of you worried, but please, don't give me that I Care shit. I've been thinking, why do people care? The reason why a person doesn't want to see someone else so pathetic, doesn't want that person to slip away, is because they are afraid of losing that person. Someone is afraid that when I'm gone or damaged beyond repair, things won't be the same again. There will be no one to crack jokes, to talk to you the way I do, and to make you feel the way I make you feel. People are selfish, and you are selfish. You want me for yourself, and I don't want that. I want you to think. How much do you REALLY care about people? To me, I know I care for someone when I don't want that person to suffer just because I don't want that person to be sad. I am not concerned about how different my life will be, that will not cross my mind, instead I just want that person to remain there because she is supposed to. Have you thought about it then. And if you find you really care for me, then thank you, but go away, I don't want you to be a part of this. I prefer solitude, especially when interference messes things up. I will go to you if I need you, but you don't disturb me. Disturb yourself for your own problems, and maybe I won't even bother with yours unless you want me to. Won't life be a lot easier like that? We support one another by respecting each other's space and preferences, and not impose our idea of 'fine' on others. Ramadhan is a close friend and he is leaving us fast. This blessed, special month is finishing soon, and I don't like the way they're all hyping up the whole hari raya thing. That's not the purpose, you're stripping the meaning from Ramadhan. Foolish imbeciles, go and have fun, isn't that all you're good for. With God's permission, we can achieve great things. We won't suffer under heavy responsibilities and challenges will be overcome easily. He is your Provider and nothing can happen without His Permission. So ASK. Make full use of these remaining days, more ibadah, God is listening, He always has been, these last ten days are specially for Rasulullah's Ummah. Go, and do what you must do. And I said a good friend is leaving us. Many other loved ones may be leaving us soon, too soon. Go. Stay safe, be sharp, get smart. Hello, You must leave your doors open Labels: advice, dark vehemency, thoughts whee fee
Written on: Sunday, September 13, 2009
Time: 8:15 PM cute freaky cool shit Hello, That's what we did in university Labels: no ligaments, sharing machine Amendments
Written on: Saturday, September 12, 2009
EH SIALAH! BLOGGER'S WORKING FINE AGAIN! Baik ah blogger, who's a good dog now, whuzzaguuddawwgggg. Who? That other dog, not you blogger, not you.Time: 12:51 AM Anyway! T'was my uncle's birthday, and my cooliest friends wished him, which is the cooliest thing I think. Sorry ah aku dah ngantuk ni my words not coming out right I think. Thanks to all you fellas and lady fellas who msged him! Todally (Oh GOD) cool (totally spies too) and he enjoyed it very much. In other news, Fads and Haliim are very sharp and pointed out that, in the last story, the guy fell in love with his wife FIVE years ago but they're son is EIGHTEEN YEARS. They found it weird and so did I, when first the issue was brought to my attention. Then I thought about it, and realized yall made assumptions. Firstly, that the son is not anak haram. Like they could have had him first then laaaaater decide to get married. Maybe not enough money? Maybe she was searching for the real father for damn long. OR they had him then thirteen years later finally fell in love. And who's to say they're Muslims anyway. Or that the boy was adopted but just happened to look like his step parents a LOT, TOO MUCH, tyco to the MAKSIMOOM. STILL, all these questions will lead us nowhere, so, time to admit to a (best) mistake (ever) and make a shange (and breeeaaaaak aaaaawayyyyy *tarik nafas* I'LL SPRE-)! He fell in love with his wife 50 years ago, and his son was 10 years old. This evens things out a WHOLE lot more and I believe the implementation of these new age values will resolve all conflicts and result in a more cohesive watershed of a communal sharing for the intellectual as well as those eager for mental (happy) meals. ONCE AGAIN, 10 credits to FADS for personally telling me online, I'm very grateful. She deserves a round of applause. Heck, a few rounds. K is that enough lol. And just awhile ago my playlist shuffled to Gwen Stefani's dunno what great escape or something. The woohoo-wheehoo in the intro seriously melampau siak, its freaking ridiculous. I would have laughed but I didn't. Anticlimax sentence heh. While you're here take a look at (my girlfriend, she's the only one I gatt) this. The point of interest lies close to the three exclamation marks. Though I know you'll scrutinize the whole damn thing lol. Hello, How's the sulphurous pit Labels: no ligaments, repotr Lookerati
Written on: Thursday, September 10, 2009
READER! This will be one MOTHERLONG post, I warn you. AND it doesn't help that blogger's being a real pain in the ass again, and somehow ScribeFire can't connect to my blog on this com... the vunders of tecknalogy.Time: 11:23 PM Story time again! Thought of during my short workout + shower + fragments of the day. He wanted to be alone and he finally got his chance. It was very late, chilly, and quiet unlike how it usually is. He hated it so much in the day when he was surrounded by them, hated their noise their antics their irritating behaviour. What good is calling somewhere a home when you feel so miserable in it. But now it was just him, the silence to himself. Everyone was fast asleep. He took his time to walk about the house, making sure everything was in order; the iron had to be turned off, the windows closed, all the leftovers in the fridge. At last, he stepped into the toilet to wash himself. He tread softly to his room where he pulled a prayer rug from its rack, and set it in the living room. He stood for a moment in silence, then lifted his hands and prayed the night prayer. He was focused and put all his soul in it. When he was done, he sat for awhile. Then taking a deep breath he lifted his hands and begin to pray again, supplications, in his own language. He asked for good health, for protection, the usual. Then towards the end he began reciting a verse begging God for forgiveness. Thrice he read it, like they usually do. It didn't feel enough. He recited it again, again and again, until all of a sudden he was overwhelmed with emotion. In the dead of night, it seemed like it was just the clear sky between him and God, and he felt so small. As he begged again and again he started crying, harder and harder till he could not breathe. He tried so hard to suppress his wails and ended up sobbing madly. He lowered his face in shame and begged again and again! How dirty he felt! He could not bear to show his face to his Creator, not after all he had done. So much had been given to him, yet this was what he was. How unworthy, how small, how pathetic! FORGIVE ME! YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN FORGIVE ME, PLEASE DO NOT ABANDON ME! He cried harder still and struggled to keep reciting his prayer in between gasps for breaths and suppressing his loud crying. His face, hands, shirt, all wet in tears yet the tears kept pouring out. Oh how he wanted to wash himself clean of all his sins, how he so wanted to be loved. Without His love, there was no meaning. He was so afraid, so terribly afraid, and so desperate. And even in this state of guilt, when he stripped off all his wrongdoings and lay them in front of him, to show Him what he had done though He already knew; to admit his wrongs and think about His wrath, he felt a warm comfort. He was drained, exhausted beyond words. But he felt it, the feeling you get when a loved one lifts your head gently by your chin, to stare you in your eyes and tell you its alright. His lips quivered and he let out a final stream of tears. He walked slowly into the master bedroom, where his wife lay sound asleep. He stood at the foot of the bed and watched her breathe slowly. She looked so innocent and loving, the same face he fell in love with 5 years ago. The same face he still loves so dearly. He took a step forward and brushed aside her fringe to take in the full beauty of her features. He kissed her on the cheek and walked out. He opened the door to his son's bedroom and hesitated for a moment. His son was 18... but it was still his son. He knelt by his side and took a long look at the boy's face, taking in the features. My eyes and my lips, his mother's cheeks and nose. He was a beautiful child and he could not ask for more. Another kiss. Lastly, he pushed open the door to his parents' bedroom. They were fast asleep, calm and at peace. Even in the darkness he could see the wrinkles on their faces, from years of hardship, caring and love. They had given so much for so many things, especially him. Two more kisses. But that wouldn't do. He told himself, in the morning, I will tell each one of them how much I love them. K end of emo story, did you cry? I hope you did! And if you know someone who cries over these kinda things, make 'em read it! I wanna make people cry hahahhaha. You do know I don't mean it that way right right riiiight. Alright another one, not as refined as the story. Its all ideas now, I gotta weave the words later on. Make it into a poem or something. Here goes: What is love? It is the cane that caresses the rascal The sweetest medicine for every ailment It is the sleep that sets upon the largest armies That brings warring nations to their feet Then makes each of them feel alright Before making them embrace real tight The destroyer of ridges, The creator of bridges A child that tugs gently At the sleeve of a wrongdoer The butterfly that dances merrily Its beauty like no other It is the warmth that keeps you comfy And the chill that keeps you cool The sunshine that lifts your spirit And the music to correct your mood It is a sword, it is a mace It is every weapon you can find But it doesn't cut or bruise or hurt Instead it works to bind Whenever all is bleak or down And with your clothes you wear a frown, Then you ask yourself 'what is this love!' Why, like everything is lost Just know the answer to all questions The solution to all problems Is always right there with you, You just gotta look inside. So that didn't turn out as unpoetic as I thought it would! Refine another day? Or leave it as an imprint of my writing at this time of my life. WELL! I'll leave it. Because there are other things to do, more things to let in than you can hold on to. Let go and fell the rush of new found freedom. I must write a poem for my mother next year, for her birthday, the whole message in a card thing is getting old. Heck, not her birthday! For HER! Because I love her every moment and I don't have to wait for one silly day to tell her that. Ramadhan is leaving us fast, and its sad. I had to spend so much time studying, everything just feels to different. Plus the new azan, the hyper emo step dramatic movie-trailer-guy voice doa afterwards, the new DZIKR! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SINGING OLD MEN!! I don't like your new version GIVE BACK THE OLD SONG. Ridiculous... Speaking of ridiculous! For some reason I've been receiving messages from Team RYC, Ramadhan Youth Challenge. Supposed to be a message a day with some wisdom that varies between the religious sort and the Health Promotion Board type hahahha, seriously. And that day, I got the winning message (worded as closely to the original as I can remember. Malas to find the original message, then again, its far more embarrassing to the Team, in its originality): Wndr how to meet yr 2 servings of veg and fruits per day? Take 1 serving of fruit and veg during sahur, and 1 serving of fruit and veg when breaking fast. Lol thanks ah I really couldn't figure that out. Though I can imagine some pakcik somewhere reading the message, then blurting out OOHHHH!! Macam gini ehhh. Alaahai, senang je! Apesal aku tak pikeh pasal ni awal2 ehh... wah nasib baik nih, apertu, Team RYC, hantar mesej. Kalau tak, dahsyat! Eh Sayang, mari, baca ni mesej- eh alamak terpicit- ah k baca ni. Lepas tu kasi diorang sumer baca, kita kena update pasal benda ni sumer tau. Eh aku bukannyer nak ejek pakcik2 innocent out there tau, cuma nak engage in a bit of 'creative expression'. Ok that's enough of talking like that, back to English. I remember I wanted to write something else... but I can't remember haaaah. Nevermind then I'll end this post, right here right now right round, right round when you go down when you going down now I hope I got the words right otherwise paiseh. Anyway ah, this post has been too emo and lovey dovey, and there's more at the end hahahha. So I guess I'll leave my blog to stagnate for awhile, let the flava sink in, kasi dier meresap siket, then I'll come back another day with a post all about hatred negativity and everything that makes you feel like SHOITE. Till next time, then. Its now 12:23 AM. Stay safe, get smart, have some &@*#)%$ manners Hello, If you are my family then remember, I'm always proud to be a part of you, If you are a friend then know that I love you, If you are a stranger then stand easy, I am willing to accept you Labels: advice, komentatr, poems, stories, thoughts Eucerin lol
Written on: Wednesday, September 09, 2009
Time: 9:37 PM I had to scan these pages for a loved one, so I think I might as well put them up here. Do you have a use for them? You will now proceed to read the translation. Hello, Well Labels: sharing machine Snake in a vineyard
Written on: Monday, September 07, 2009
Time: 9:54 PM You know how I always talk to myself, make noises, sounds, sing and stuff? Looking ahead of the dark and lonely childhood I suffered (hahahahahah I like this story a lot), I think my mind's just very hyper. THen it occured to me that all the words stories dialogues arguments and thingamajigums I think about can be shared! WOW! Ok lah I didn't intend for that to sound so stupid; intelligent version: I think it'd be good to share all these things. When Ivl first spoke to his Master about the quest he foresaw, he was warned. Such shadowy beasts will never leave you once you pursuit them, and the stain on your soul will be immeasurable. "It will be hard to pry yourself from it all, and I'm worried you will be burdened for far longer than you can tolerate." "I understand. This is something I must do, I will bear all costs. Master, have you not noticed how every great soul dies young? I am- "Fool! What nonsense are you driving at! Enough of th-" "Hear me, Master!" "...very well. I do so love you as a son Ivl, you have my word that I will let you speak freely: "Thank you Master. I was saying... it just seems to me that I might be one of them," "Yes you are great, but what do you mean?" "I haven't got much left to live, I must do what I have to do now." "Ivl! How can you... *sigh*... I knew it would amount to something like this... If you must do it, then I shall only support you," "Thank you Master," "And you take care. I know the sound of your mind too well, don't ever be afraid to yell for me when you are in need." "I am forever indebted to you" "Go now, Ivl." And so Ivl gathered his belongings and for the last time, stepped out of their village. Many times had he tread this path, when called upon by His Majesty to serve the Land. He was a soldier and a warlock, and he was accustomed to being uncomfortable in strange places. But this time he knew it would last for ever. He made haste to the Palace, where he sought an audience with the King. He was shown quickly shown into the Great Hall. "My Lord, I pray you are in good health." "And so I am, Ivl. What is it that you have to tell me? I know my best soldier too well to expect him to show himself for a triviality." "Indeed My Lord. I have come here today to seek your blessing for my journey." "What journey is this, then?" "I will pursue the dark beasts that have plagued my mind for too long. I see them as a threat to your Kingdom." "Now Ivl, you know that is impossible. Have some sense!" "I have that, My Lord. I only ask for your blessings." "Stop playing the fool, Ivl! You know that if you choose this path, you will be fighting alone." "As I have always been." Firmly, he said those words and stared the King in his eyes. "...! As much as I oppose your ridiculous ideas, I have no reason to hold you back. However I refuse to bless you." "Very well." And he left unceremoniously, leaving the King to stare after his billowing cape. The Bishop came to his side. "I would hate myself if I were him, Your Highness." "An outcast. That's what he has always been. Now he sees that no one needs him anymore, so they have abandoned him. There was no other way this would have turned out." "You are wise, My Lord." Ivl wasted no time, and went on his long journey. It was past midnight when he arrived at the Far Well. There, he made camp and shed his blood in honour of the Warlock Spirits. He knelt in meditation for an hour, before wiping off his tears and lying down to sleep. His blade rested silently by his side, keeping watch on its master as he rested. It was only thus fateful cos Ivl had crafted it so, and possessed no life or thought. How it behaved and acted was, in fact, how Ivl acted, as though a shard of his soul had been fused with the cold steel. No matter what, he still felt alone and nothing could change that. And as the forest breaths danced around his body, his magic burst into flames and made a cage. Alone and imprisoned indeed. That's the end of the story so far, that's about as much as I spoke to myself today-ish. Now time for the unpleasant next part of this post, the angsty bit. There's always a prawn behind the stone (HAHAHAHHA I can't get over this), and its not always pleasant. For your good health, and to avoid spoiling your prelim-mugging mood, I strongly suggest you halt here. That's all, I can't really be bothered with what you do hahaha. I'm going against my better judgements and all the voices of sense in my head yelling at me to stop. The both of you are idiots, I can't take it. There are times you make me happy, each of you, but why should I cloud my judgement by basing my thoughts on moments of mania. I cannot forget all the crap and shit you've given me. Too much to be forgotten, see, and its ongoing. If you're reading this, I hope you know who you are. And I know you won't feel a thing but anger. That is how you are. I am disappointed at what's become of the two of you, and I despise myself even more for entertaining such thoughts. You and I know I'm not supposed to. Yet here I am sharing them with whoever reads my blog. That includes the Warlocks of South Nisfern, my apologies. Wake up and grow up, stop behaving like damned children. I would so love to avoid you and keep away but I cannot, what's more I have duties and responsibilities. The shackles of life, that is what they sometimes are. Blessings concealed in iron and rust. Whatever. I can only say so much, you are you. Do what you will, I can only stand and watch, and write and curse, and detach myself from it all like I'm going to do now. I'm not afraid to hate, to be critical, to hate, to despise, feel disgusted, hate and hate anymore. See here, I am talking about things many shy away from. Why run away from what happens naturally? I'll do what I do: face it all, come to a decision and let it all pass. I have no time for too many emotions and I don't even know if what I'm doing is totally correct but I'll live with it for as long as no one is made to lose out for my actions. Is there irony somewhere there. Do you remember hearing about people who grew up all right but turned out horribly wrong. Jeng. JENG. JENGGGGGGGGGG. Well I'm not one of them Tadum, CHANG! All that was completely redundant, I just thought it felt rather dramatic. Dramatic = impact = good = just write it even if its irrelevant. You, reader, do you know me? Really? Are you worried? Why are you worried. Why do you care or think you care. Have I made you think? How much have I made you think. I want you to question yourself and feel uncomfortable. Squirm in your skin and taste the dryness of your mouth. The whole experience is beautiful, don't forget a little bitterness to go with the sweets of life. You need the entire package to completely appreciate the beauty of what you have. So get up now and go stare at a plant. Completely disjointed paragraph, I'd say. Tried to say something, failed, tried to rescue it, failed, left it all there, satisfied. Lol this is funny. I have a strong feeling this is one post I might revisit in the future. Cut away all the bad parts but leave enough of a trace for me to remember. Not a hoarder, just a thinker. Now its time to get back to work, I'm so loving this work thing I wish I could stay in school and study for longer hours and puasa forever, it ROCKS to not have to eat. Ramadhan is leaving us fast :((((((((( What's left is precious, go on, make full use of it. Hello, There's too much sass in this bong Labels: advice, dark vehemency, famous words, no ligaments, stories pissacrap
Written on: Sunday, September 06, 2009
Bloody Blogger's acting up again, why lah WHY do you have to do this to me after all I've done for YOU. I tried Firefox first, no go. Though Safari would do the trick cos its so sexay, but turned out it wasn't that sexay after all. So now I'm on Chrome, convinced that Blogger's being a complete RETARD. Chrome's nice. TOO NICE :OTime: 11:40 PM So, madrasah! I think... twas a waste of time today. Sigh nevermind, no one ever said being a good boy would be easy lol. Who knows, I probably got alim-ized or something, so I'm not gonna complain grumble grumble crunch crunch. Once again I'm in another unfathomable mood, and this time, I'm gonna give datuk advice to you all again muahahhaa. Put properly, I wanna share some things with yall because there might be a chance that it'd be useful to you. I care for all of you, and only want you to be happy. Awwwww.... NEXT! - When you wanna scold a person, don't ask questions like WHY didn't you do it! Why did you forget! Be nice and don't say the word 'don't'. Eg. next time do as I say, ok? When you question or use a negative, you open up the opportunity for an argument, and cause the scoldee (yeah he) to get defensive. - Don't be too emotionally attached to too many things. A lot of times its good to let go; let everything slip around you, ride the waves, go with the flow. There's only so much you can grab onto before you are brought to your knees. When something comes to you, love and enjoy it, then move on. You have a lot more waiting for you, give that your 100%. - Be realistic in your goals but dream big. ALL OF YOU IDIOTS CAN GET YOUR STRAIGHT As SO LET'S DO THIS SHIT YALL! I BELIEVE IN YOU! AND NOW I'M TIRED OF SHOUTING SO I'LL GO BACK TO talking in a normal volume. - Plan your revision and study smart. My math tutor, the cool guy who teaches me every sat, taught me how to revise: go through the core concepts, make a mindmap or summary of the whole topic. Get through a few basic questions, try one or two normal ones. The rest, don't waste your time doing. Read the question, go through the steps mentally and as you do so, uncover your answer (yeah that means you must have done it looooong ago when that tutorial was in fashion) for each step. If you make a mistake, slap yourself and look in the mirror and yell BITCH! then carry on. If you get it right who cares, move on. Ok actually its up to you I give up hahahhaa. - YOU NEED EXERCISE!!! I'll gym with you if you wanna! Ok no actually it depends, shut up I never said anything GO AWAY. Pretty wise, eh this psychopath (eh walau see lah now I'm half-convinced I'm one. THANKS AME.). Now I gotta go do what I gotta do duhhh. All talk and no play makes Fawaz a sleepy cincilla. Study smart, GET smart, stay safe, don't forget to shave (?!), see yall in heaven. Ok WHAT was all that for. Bye I'm gonna increase my IQ through sleep therapy. Hello, Razorblade relationships Labels: advice, sleeping patterns Good for my ninja image
Time: 12:48 AM
Just when I thought Singaporeans were quite ok-ish, a hundred and one people had to, in a remarkably short period, demonstrate their acute skill for keeping mum. You know the way people try to use Eye Power to conjure enough space to walk through somewhere. And when you're with your friends you try to be nice by pulling your friend away, so the idiot may pass, only to have him move on wordlessly. Remember, idiots, your ass is in the path of my foot. Please, open your damned mouths lah. Don't try to push yourself against me cos I'll push back next time, and I deadlift you know. Huh huh huh take that. OH YAH DEADLIFT! GYM! Proud of myself for going on Friday, I can't tell you how much I miss the feeling of trying... to uh... carry heavy things? Man that sounds damn unexciting. Anyway it was Hanif's first time deadlifting, and he's got good form. If my projections are right, he'll be able to lift a two-storey building in about... 2 months 6 days 5 hours andddd... 43 seconds. And thanks to Zul for his new form of 'weathering' called- guess what- Zul Pressure. K dah enough gym all of you are starting to throw up already. Syafiq is turning super ***. YOU HEAR THAT SYAFIQ, YOU HEAR THAT?!?! Bye I need to sleep cos I have... madrasah. Tomorrow, followed by the next two weeks off. WHYYYYYYY can't I pon tomorrow?!?!?!? Oh yeah, have been, too much, can't take it, not good. Not good, straight path to hell if you may. Later. Hello, Me overdose me Labels: MB, sleeping patterns, thoughts Thank you ScribeFire
Written on: Thursday, September 03, 2009
Time: 10:11 PM I so wanna express my disappointment that our exam venue has shifted. All along I had been imagining myself sitting near the front of the ISH, occasionally looking up to see some nerd walk from the toilet and try to act cool. Then! In the morning, in the car, on the way, when my psyching up was at its peak, I received an inappropriately cheerful message from Ame telling us that our venue had SHIFTED. TO. THE. MPH. MPH. Prior to that day I had heard horrible stories of the MPH. The frozen winds, the yellow smell and such. Anyway I went up to the solat room to leave my stuff, met Syafiq, and then 'Eh you know right we are at the MPH?' Syafiq: "WHAT?!" See its horrible right. How can dey doo dis too uss. He had been psyching up similarly, and I can only imagine how many hearts were crushed that morning. Not to mention the poor fellas who arrived huff puff cos of the sudden change. Nehmind. Whatever. As long as they recycle the foolscap papers I'm happy. Fast forward to ten minutes ago. My frickin' tube of Oxy squirted at me ah SQUIRTED tF. At first I thought it was cos I squeezed too hard or sth. Then AGAIN WTF. STUPID TUBE DON'T YOU KNOW NO MATTER WHAT YOU ARE YOU DON'T GO AROUND- ok I really think I should not continue with that sentence. So I'll talk about a little social experiment instead. No wait I won't, malas ah sia. Instead I will tell you HOW TO BEHAVE during a social experiment. If you spend time around me, you must be prepared for all my Great Ideas and remarkably strong urges to do FUN things. Seriously people, don't be so uptight. HAVE FUN! Do things, jangan kemaluan and shit. Dont' use the word childish cos lotsa people never really grow up, lotsa adults are kids acting adult. RULE NUMBER ONE Don't stare at me or look and laugh or whatever when I make sudden loud announcements or shi', when normal people may find it inappropriate. This will tell everyone who made the noise, and that's not good for ninjas like me. RULE NUMBER @ Never EVER assume people don't speak malay; don't go around discussing my brilliant plans or saying things like 'eh eh eh dier datang ah. EH bodoh sak dier tak nampak!!' Hijazi should know this. Heh no offence bro I just can't stop thinking about you AWWW- -CHOO! Sorry I hadda sneeze. ELUR REBMUN EERHT Be a sport. Partake in my glorious adventures, be a part of something great in history. It'll nourish your soul, and you'll only come away better off. The more the messier, as the saying goes. The end. Hello, I need a smile |
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