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FAHIM
Written on: Friday, October 31, 2008
Time: 2:07 PM today is brought to you by the letter F and the number 3 that's cos its Fahim's birthday. F3. i'm F1, Fauzan's F2 and Fahim's F3 DUH. omg fahim now you're TWELVE YEARS OLD. that's a YEAR from being a TEENAGER. AW SHEET THAT'S FAST! may Allah bless you with good health, iman, long life, intelligence, happiness, protection from the evils of day and night, and shower you with all His love. Ameen. i'm so damn proud to call you my brother, and i hope you'll try harder to be as cool as me HAHAH. ok joking. you're already damn cool ah. and what's that about all the girls... heheh cheeky boy ah. ok no lah the girls go to you that i admit. heh. but you're still a good boy no matter what. just please stop trying to make me solve the rubik's cube cos i ain't good at your puzzles. yet. BE HAPPY, BOY! love ya with all my heart and soul slow deep breaths
Written on: Thursday, October 30, 2008
what i wanted to type would go against what i believe in.Time: 10:24 PM so i'll just have to shut up. i'll have to not say what i want to say cos i'm not supposed to say it. turn away, walk, you can't hear what they say. there's no need to talk, everything'll be alright. someday... yeah whatever many many many
Written on: Wednesday, October 29, 2008
it is in this post that i will share with you the extreme phases of under-performance that my phone went through, prior to its latest servicing.Time: 9:40 PM some of you know that i have a retarded speaker which works when pressure is applied. this, we can safely assume, is due to a loose contact in the speaker mechanism. however a few incidences have convinced me that sudden and great shock to the phone might do the trick. it happened a few times after i dropped my phone on accident. i'm just there doing whatever it is i do at home, then in my haste i am oblivious to the precarious position i'd left my phone in. and most of the time what follows is a CRASH! as my phone experiences the wonderful effects of gravity as well as the gentle caress of the cement floor. and somehow, every time that happens, i am mysteriously compelled to test out my speaker. and it always works! so one day, after a pissifying hour of trying to get my speaker to work (by taping, tapping it and what not), i resorted to dropping it a few times, with great caution. from a mere height of 20 cm, i must add. and to my astonishment, what followed was not the sweet sounding music i had been hoping to hear, but a strange malfunction. observe: strangely i was more fascinated than frustrated, although i suspect most of you would feel the same anyway. and so that concludes the vaguely amusing incident i just had to share. i'm just not in the mood to elaborate on it now. perhaps never. yes, never again. it's too superficial. well anyway, i've got a few photos i'd like to share, but they're on my other computer. and i'm really in no mood to be a rajin-boy (rajin's hardworking in malay). and in case you're wondering why i'm writing in such a manner, it must be Mind Your Language getting to me. there's just something about the way in which they speak that i find... well... ah the word escapes me at this moment, and i really cannot be bothered. ok ah that's it i think i should sleep cos its ALMOST late and i've not been getting the famous SOLID 8 HOURS OF SLEEP that every young (young, YOUNG, YOUNG) growing boy needs. and i haven't ran, DAMMIT. ok at least my gymming's paying off a lil. i think. i hope. hmm... i- uh, well... ok. messed no more
Written on: Sunday, October 26, 2008
well ok i'll finish it up.Time: 8:42 PM and below the eyes, its gaping mouth hang loosely off its face. it was black, everything about it, like a gate to an abyss. and as it stretched wider still, saliva dripped thickly off its thin lips. francisco, the father, could only stare at the being which he knew was his son. it took him awhile before he finally took in the whole form of the being: black veins showed under the translucent, slimy skin. some parts of its torso had leaky holes (these repulsed the old man but he was strangely unable to react. he was frozen solid.); these had covered a lot of the floor in a pinkish gunk, that had a strange smell to it. not repulsive, no, but strangely bearable. several parts of its body were pulsing, he now noticed, as though it had several hearts; but stranger still! these spots seemed to slowly migrate, like little balls rolling across the flesh, hidden from sight only by the thin skin that stretched across, threatening to burst. it was at this point that the whispers in francisco's mind were aroused once more. the chamber, locked down and deep within the confines of his mind, had been vigorously torn open. all his hopes, fears, suspicions, poured out at once, flooding his entire being. he was lost; scared, yes, but more lost than anything. he was hoping that the monstrosity he was staring at was not his son, yet, as he stared longer still, he knew he was lying to himself. suddenly it seemed that he knew it all along. but just before he could start questioning and blaming himself, the fear enveloped him once more. it washed over him mercilessly. all this while, ana had been trembling in the corner of the room, her eyes tearing freely. she had wet herself, and her lower lip trembled as she stared at the thing on her ceiling. then the thing moved: sideways across the ceiling, like a crab. it muttered in a strange language in a voice that would forever torment the souls of those that heard it. then a long, thin tongue extended from the hole in its face, and it drew a marking on the floor. and with a sudden exclamation, it jumped out of the window, leaving behind a sudden and painful silence. poor francisco was on the verge of collapse, still unmoving. then ana sobbed harder still, and in a voice that carried the exhaustion from all that crying, she heaved: p-pa! i-i can hear! then she fell to the ground and curled up sobbing heavily. *** they never heard from horatio again. ana's room was boarded up; the marking that was left on the floor had, on several occasions, lit up. and scarier still, scratches, handprints, and marks of all sorts, slowly appeared around it. the room had taken on a dismal air, and never seemed to be bright enough no matter how bright the sun was outside its open windows. horatio's room was completely bare right after his departure. no more bed, no furniture, clothes, nothing. it, too, was boarded up and left untouched. after much persuasion, francisco once revealed that sometimes at night, voices could be heard chanting softly in the room. sometimes it sounded like people were having a jovial conversation in a foreign tongue. and on some nights, something pounded so hard on the door from the inside that twice it fell off its hinges. on these nights ana would refuse to go to sleep, and would temporarily lose her hearing. the family of two could not afford to move out, so they lived on with these terrors. *** today they are like everyone else once more. no more absence from school, no more staring blank at work. in fact, if you observed them close enough, you'd see that they had started to take comfort in the strange happenings in their house. as though it was horatio's way of saying that he loved them, and he would always be with them. ana would occasionally feel someone watching over her as she slept, watching her from the ceiling of her father's room. but she smiled to herself everytime. no one knows why things took such a turn. but maybe some things just escape explanation. ***END*** well its not completely finished, i've got some drawings i intend to produce and upload soon. who knows how soon 'soon' is... and now on to the dismal part of today's post. i recommend you give it a skip. i'm just trying to get it all out, though i really doubt it'll do me any good. really, leave now, some things you may not want to read. sometimes i feel like i'm an 'everybody else', but is it supposed to be that way. i wanna be more, but whatever. its just worse when i feel i'm less than an everybody else. there are so many things i wish i had never said, or said differently. but that's life, isn't it? we make mistakes and we just keep learning. now that i'm thinking again, i realize i'd rather leave things the way they've happened. there are so many things i wish i could say but just cannot because of my responsibility to whoever it involves. and because saying these things would cause immense, maybe irreparable damage. it all angers me and there's no one i can tell them to, save for God, without causing some further problem. and it really BITES when people think they can go on doing whatever they're doing just because i keep quiet. I HAVE FEELINGS TOO, AND JUST BECAUSE I DON'T SHOW THEM DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T THINK ANYTHING OF WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. everybody just STOP PISSING ME OFF. stop treating me like i'm a commodity, stop treating me like i'm lower than you, like i can't take care of myself, like i'm an enemy, like you'd rather avoid me, like i can't see through you, like you think you're better than me and just can't STAND it that i'm where YOU'RE NOT SO LIVE WITH IT. don't look at me like that and say something else. don't judge me by my face, my skin, what i look like. i can't find a proper word that sounds like how i'd yell. argh is just dumb, RAHH sounds like i'm acting cute, so whatever. i want to say so many things but i cannot. i want to do so many things but i'm crippled by so many things including myself. well sometimes. heh. (ok that sounded really out of place. but i guess i'm cooling off real fast.) and in case its not obvious enough: i really, REALLY appreciate all you people that have been good to me. my mother, father, family, friends, acquaintances. you don't know how much i appreciate all the small things people do for me. offering me a seat in the train, letting me walk first, EVERYTHING! wow i'm really quite a happy guy, come to think of it. and, it appears i'm starting to look forward to everything. we get problems everyday. now lotsa academic problems ah. but as strange as it sounds, i'm looking forward to life's problems. they'll be interesting, really. and i can't wait for the numbing fear that overcomes me when i realize i've made a BLOODY big mistake, or when i'm about to mess up big time. interesting, all very interesting. ok i realize i didn't write down everything i thought i wanted to, but its ok i guess. let's leave it at this note for now. hopefully it'll stay this way for a long time to come. life's tough but i'll always be the bigger one. (or so i hope) but i know no matter what, Allah is always there for those who need Him. Alhamdulillah, for everything. Allahu-akbar bossrushmode
Written on: Friday, October 24, 2008
need. new. shoes.Time: 3:38 PM in a completely male, straight, non-gay, absolutely logical sense. even though its geog now. story later. post mortem NOW. thories?
Written on: Wednesday, October 22, 2008
once upon a time i considered changing the address of my blog. then a few hours ago i discovered tumblrTime: 9:06 PM (oh shit deja vu now, WHAT!?) (exclamation mark first THEN question mark. whole new meaning) tumblr looks promosing. amma gonna try it outta for awhile. then i'll see. and now, repulsive, narcissistic, you-wouldn't-wanna-hear observations about myself. i've indented the paragraph, so you know when to stop scrolling down LOL. i was running a fever for the past two days (probably cos of a consistent, unfailing dedication to a lack of sleep for the past few MONTHS). and i noticed the veins on my arms were thinner than usual. AND, that my limbs got numb very easily. ok now let's try... i'll put my arm up. OOH i feel it already. the second i put it up i feel the heat flowing away. and if i keep it there longer... ok it doesn't get that numb, but when i put it back down it feels loike SHOITE. (eh alamak someone's watching high school musical 2 outside, LOWER THE VOLUME LAH). AND i SWEAR my arms have shrunk, SHEEEEEEEEEEET. in fact i think i've shrunk as a whole, but i think i've gained some definition. wow maybe you've gotta fall sick to gain definition. but i'm guessing my strength consperm ZWEEOWCH. i panted after climbing FOUR. PATHETIC. FLOORS. up to my classroom this morning. ah ok... right now, it seems that everything's just not going the way i want. and is it me, or are a lot more people getting unbearably irritating? and why am i still sleepy... man i really REALLY need to catch up on sleep then. and by the way, i'm fine, in case you're getting concerned. these thoughts don't really bother me i guess. well maybe sometimes they do, but i guess i'm just not my problems' favourite person, get what i mean? they just... just... whoosh over my head sometimes. or maybe i've gotten so good at pretending everything's fine that i'm beginning to fool myself. hmm, interesting... and about fullstops: '.' to end a sentence. '..' looks like a typo '...' to leave a sentence hanging '....' that's just damn extra anything more than that is an acceptable and unique form of self expression HAH. i've got lotsa stuff to accomplish during the holidays and in the next year. no wait, we've all got stuff to do. i pray that Allah gives us the strength, discipline, ability and guidance, that we may succeed in what we set out to do. Ameen. ah yes, the story thing i wanted to write the other day. well i guess i can force it out now. Horatio (haha got this name from the Sims 2, only cos i had to watch Fauzan play as i ate. cos the tv is right smack terpampang in front of the dining table), a strapping young man of 20, had been abroad for awhile, in the dense jungles of Matura, studying their indigenous (did i use the word right? i'll look up the meaning later...) people. THey were rumoured to practice and ancient form of Jamar, a dark art commonly associated with the feared shamans of the West Sands. Horatio's expedition was only to the extend of photographing the people as they went about their seemingly mysterious lives, and to glean whatever he could about their practices. he was, in no way, accustomed to such magick, and had no intentions whatsoever in active participation. he was scheduled to return home on the 18th, after a long 4 months away from home. the following conversation takes place between him and his father, at the airport. Horatio: Pa! (runs to father and hugs his ass off) dad: SON! God, am i glad to see you. look at me. oh God, you've... grown! i can't believe it but you seem taller! and, wow! what a nice body you've got! you've been working out?! Horatio: (the excitement and joy in his eyes were starting to fade) No Pa, i guess its just their lifestyle. uh, listen, i've got a lot to tell you, but i'm really, REALLY tired now. could we go home first? dad: yes, yes, right away. in the car, horatio was silent; his eyes were closed throughout the journey, and although his chair was reclined, he did not look restful. the glow of an adventurer who has just returned from an enthralling adventure was missing from his face. in fact, if his father had observed closely, he would have noticed that his fists were clenched, while his breathing was unnaturally slow but irregular. when they got home, horatio did not hesitate to drag his father to the sofa where they both sat down, and he started blurting out his story. pa, i really have to tell you something very important. i'm not the person that left you four months ago. haha well of course not. i expected it from the start. my boy has grown up quickly, and i'm proud of him. 4 months is short, but look at you! (his father failed to sense the desperation in his voice) no its not like that! i'm... i'm not like normal people anymore. i dunno pa, i've changed! i haven't been able to sleep for the past nights yet i'm wide awake now! look at me! whoa, son. stop, take it easy. what do you mean? i... i dunno pa, they- i DON'T KNOW! (and as abruptly as he had started the conversation, he flared with anger as he roared at his shocked father. and as he stood, breathing hard, he seemed to loom over his father, who now seemed like a pathetic, frail man, looking up uncertainly at what he thought was his son.) i... i'm sorry. it-it- must be jet lag or some sort of- i dunno, i think i need to sleep. good night pa. (and with that he left his father alone in the living room, to ponder over the strangeness in his son's character. alas, there was no explanation he could come up with. who could?) and then, at 4 am in the morning, when the lights were out and everyone was asleep (horatio lived with his father and deaf younger sister who was 15 years old. she was asleep the whole night, for she was exhausted from her day at school), the silence was interrupted by a loud yell. it was unnerving to imagine that the voice of a healthy, fit young man, could carry such fear and unnatural bewilderment. PA! PA! PA I NEED YOU! his father, who was asleep in the room beside his own, was woken up. and even in his confusion he managed to stumble into his son's room. horatio? what's the matter! PA! PA FEEL MY CHEST! I HAVE NO HEARTBEAT! what?! wha-? PA JUST COME! (confused and afraid, his father stumbled forward to his son, and nervously placed a palm across his chest which was heaving.) and as soon as he had felt his son's chest, adrenalin started to surge through his body; there really was no heartbeat. he grabbed his son's arm and felt the area below the thumb... no pulse. the neck? no pulse. and he stood back and gaped, at his son who was alive despite not having any pulse. i..i i... (his father stammered, expectedly at a loss of words) and suddenly, out-of-place calmness. oh God... Pa... i'm so sorry. i- oh God... i forgot all about it... oh God, pa... it was this tonic i was given... yes some herbal tonic. its to mask the pulse so that the hunters are not easily spotted by the animals. they don't really use weapon so they need- sigh, i'm sorry pa, there's nothing to worry about, i- i guess i'm really tired and i forgot- sigh, sorry pa, i'm fine. good night, i'll see you in the morning. and his father just stood there, not knowing what to say, to think. and after awhile of trying to piece everything together, fatigue started to creep back in, and his mind told him to believe his son. everything was normal... and so he went back to bed. but in the darkness, he could not see the blackness in his son's eyes. that the white had almost completely disappeared. and that not once did he blink them. and later, again, at some odd hour of the night, the foundations of the house were shaken by a cry. it had the traces of a young male voice, yet it pierced the ear. and however vague it was, it seemed that there was more than one voice screaming. and the house shook, twice, as though shaken brutally by an invisible hand as big as itself. all the electronic appliances went on at the same time: lights, television, everything. then as suddenly as the cry had started, it was reduced to a low moaning. and this time, it could be heard; another voice, screaming out, again and again. the voice of someone who had stared Terror in the eye, whose very soul was threatening to be pulled away. God knows how, but the old man jumped out of his bed and ran right to his daughter's room, where the sounds were coming from. bless his soul, the poor old man was trembling when he saw what i am about to describe to you next. perched on the ceiling of his daughter's room was the most hideous thing he had seen. it had a pale, slimy body that resembled that of a person. except that it was more curved, and out of proportion: its feet were twice as long as that of an ordinary person, and its many fingers spread out like a large web across the ceiling. its hair was wet and hanging down from the pull of gravity, and its eyes... large, black orbs that hissed with evil and sadness. and below the eyes, its gaping mouth- and i'll continue the story tomorrow, my eyes are getting tired and i haven't exercised. its 10 o clock oh God time flies. haraya
Written on: Monday, October 20, 2008
sat and sun wuz da best sheet in the world, i could go on and on and on jalaning. i think.Time: 8:40 PM you people are the greatest. and here's something i was just thinking about; its some attempted sci-fi thing ah lol. k no wait, no mood to write it now. i think i'll need to sleep soon anyway. tired! haha ok most of this post was quite pointless... but what is a point. i've asked before if points exists. so, do they? k whatever i don't really care now. hang loose, everyone. fout arghlol
Written on: Friday, October 17, 2008
aaahhhhh how could i overlook the existence of one of the most reliable patches around?!?!?! A-patch. and the guy's some hardcore NORMAL Muslim some more hahaha.Time: 8:56 PM i just HAD to try all the other shit hacks and stuff and screw up the bloody messenger before FINALLY getting A-Patch. BUT still got problem. i'm using messenger plus and some apple skin, so the patch doesn't completely work. which means... more work that i DON'T WANNA DO. LATER. NOT TODAY. DIDN'T HAPPEN YESTERDAY. MAYBE NEVER. oh no i don't want that. and came back from thwimming (actually more of screwing around) at matt's sink again. dis taim it was cash rex hanif matt maself. still loads of fun (ze uzzer time wus yvan, syafix, cash, matt, and meh. olso a lut uf funn.). which means more vids of us doing what we do! again! and again! but i still haven't got all the vids from the other time ARGH TECHNOLOGY SOMETIMES YOU SO PISS ME OFF (cos my bluetoot keeps hanging JUST when there's like a small lil amount left to download WHY). and i just found some short vid of me beatboxing in my pictures folder heh. me and my attempted organization... which is going extremely well, i might add. and all that opening of my eyes underwater has left them screwed to the max now. everything still blurred and discoloured. but i just HAD to see stuff underwater. i just wanted to sorry. so i really really hope, from the bottom of my heart, that they'll be fine tomorrow. oh shit 905 pm i need to sleep around 930 cos everyday i sleep super unnecessarily late which leaves me dead the next day and the cycle continues, that, my friend, is NAT GOOD and it MUST NOT HAPPEN TOMORROW. of all the days, PLEASE not tomorrow. cos its BATCH RAYA! omg i'm so excited i'm so scared! lol that was from a bustedtees shirt about caffeine. heh. oh shit i'm timekeeper and i'm not always the best with time... no that came out wrong. nah heck whatever, we'll keep to schedule tomorrow InsyaAllah. man i need new speakers. AH! this was due a long time ago. one day i stepped into the toilet. WHOA blue water. ok ah must be my mom put some weird cleaner thing. ok ah. skali later i flush WHOA MY GOD ALL BLUE WATER COME OUT. for half a second i almost got a shock. blue flush! radddd. turns out its some thing you put in the container thing and it blues the water. the wonders of technolologee... sometimes you stump me. may i interrupt? can i please go to the toilet? in an effort to rehydrate my painfully drying lips i inadvertently drank too much water and now its all threatening to come back out. ok ah SHIT my eyes really cannot tahan now k ah bye heh what?
Written on: Wednesday, October 15, 2008
i woke up at 2 am today, very confused.Time: 2:16 AM i was on my sofa and i didn't remember how i got there. serious, everything was a complete blank. k let's see... i remember the hdb guy coming over to check the dunno what, repeated himself 10 times ah ok this part you must read. and my mom, being very polite, just went like ya mm ok, yeah its the first time, ok we'll check. and i was at the back hiding behind the door, trying not to laugh. my nenek cool only just watching. then when he FINALLY left, i asked my nenek: 'Muma (that's grandmother in Malayalam, the coolest language i know HAHAHA) did you see the back of his neck just now? (in a serious tone)' 'No, why?' 'There were buttons. Someone accidentally pressed the repeat button i think' so Muma laughed. and i said skali he come all the way back to talk some more. and he DID. omg i'm seriously getting damn psychic. dunno what sia he came up for but i didn't care. and i think that's about where my memory stops, serious. don't remember ANYTHING else. wtfunk! and so i woke up at 2 am to a world of pain. pain pain pain pain PAIN PAIN PAIN. not physical ah (actually a bit cos i'm a bit sore) but mentul cus i realoized that i've got some werk ter do. pw (AHHHHHHHHHHCRAP STUPID POO) open house proposal (SHIT! forgot to submit online version heheheehehehehehehe) check about the 30 min leadership bullshit-smoking-waste time-act-like-we're-getting-something-done session. damn it to the max. some more just now sch like what sia. super friggin bloody short and WASTE TIME. shiddei should have ponned but always ah, ALWAYS, the goodboi in me takes over and i DON'T.
The Curse of Being a Good Boy k that was just for fun. AHA! but at least i ran 4K (my old class) with Syafiq. funny ah but there were times, under the sweltering sun, when i felt COLD. ya serious. somebody tell me why. NOW. so....................................................................WHYTHEHELLOPANDA AM I BLOGGING NOW. alamak niarai dishiplin kurang sikit ah (alamak today discipline a bit low ah. eh, you could have inferred that what.) so its now back to a world of un-niceness. at least till a few hours later ah when i regain my sanity, orientation, several remote faculties of the mind which are actually quite important, and when i'm fully awake. werk. now. ARGH. then i'll sleep k BYE hwaiting
Written on: Tuesday, October 14, 2008
all these calling out to me:Time: 12:10 AM windowblinds rocketdock styler half life 2 (aw man half life 2...) indigo prophecy (aw shit that time forgot to save nooooooooooooo) all my muzeek more muzeek gym (ha kho) my beloved ps2 have i got time i hope i've got time. and i really really need to sleep. its a CURSE, i tell ya. i just CAN'T. SLEEP. EARLY. WHY. see lah here i am blogging. BLOGGING. NOW. NOW! ARGH!!! God, i really love my family. and friends, and everything i've got. isn't life perfect. the only thing missing from the equation now is SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP AAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH- the appearance of Sdrawde Lhup
Written on: Friday, October 10, 2008
somebody tell me what '10,000,000 if you destroy Sdrawde Lhup' is supposed to mean, i just can't summon the energy to google it. funny, eh. (but i guess i WILL in awhile, cos my curiosity's killing me)Time: 1:04 AM Fawaz's Charity for the Spiritually Disabled (but i'm not the most spiritual guy you'll find, t'was just an idea i head yav) Akonymous - Akon trying to be anonymous but failing miserably. OR a fan of Akon who wishes to remain unidentifiable. you don't know what you've got till you lose it. that's why you should listen to eminem and JUST LOSE IT. then you'll realize how miserable life is without yourself. reminith
Written on: Tuesday, October 07, 2008
i was watching my bros studying. yeah i had that much time.Time: 11:12 PM somehow started about primary school. and GUESS WHAT. FAHIM NEVER HAD SCIENCE PRACTICALS IN HIS SIX YEARS. Fauzan did, less than me though, but at least now he's in secondary school he HAS to cos of those stupid spa things. ok, primary school stuff. pets textbooks. some people think they look neat when they tuck their shirts in their underwear. UNDERWEAR. oh God... security guard. security guard shouting. prefects sitting around sweating. prefect unable to chase you. people pissing in their pants. power rangers. beyblades and spark discs. dragon tales (k i'm gonna stop putting full stops at the end of each... uh... thing.) ruddy name tags parents fussing about everywhere national day! p5! phua chu kang kids central (for me at least) TCS! hahaha. channel 5 and stuff... cod liver oil good look hair gel (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA) ok i give up. btw THIS IS PENNY-ARCADE. ok ah not the funniest of strips, and its not exactly everyone's kinda humour in the first place. but i like it. AND I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK. DON'T CRITICIZE MY TASTE, ITS JUST NOT FOR YOU TO CRITICIZE (btw that was a line from one of their strips heh). was about to stumble yesterday when i saw bustedtees in my history. must have been my mom or bro or uncle or neighbour or penpal or alien surfing. ignored. then i stumbled (i'll explain another time) and i landed on BUSTEDTEES. WHOA. so i looked around. not bad sia, kinda like threadless but a lil more ex if i ghemember corrightly. anyway, some of the stuff i saw. hopefully now syafiq lim, khairul, and taufik white will understand. please, PLEASE understand. siak ah korang tadi macam zombie jer. please tell me you got it. please. please. ARGH , YOU there. i know you didn't get it. in-tents, intense... geddit? ARR, MATEY. lol i didn't bother getting the proper picture without the ruddy price. argh irritating formatting ing. ok bye i must REALLY sleep i'm sore and tired and sleepy and tired. keep it short
Written on: Monday, October 06, 2008
i realize i tend to get carried away when i write.Time: 11:08 PM today i'm not gonna. uh... can't think of a suitable title. AH! this will do.
Written on: Saturday, October 04, 2008
everything appears disjointed, but it all makes more sense than you think. look at the big picture, and stop reading once you experience nausea, or similar discomforts. high chance you will, so invest in insurance NOW.Time: 11:30 PM * to the tune of a certain song. not gonna say what cos you'll feel smart once you've guessed it. haha... yeah, yeah, i know. i know its kinda late but happy children's day to all of you * Jason Mraz says if you look into your heart you'll find love. i'm pretty sure you'll find a lotta blood. wait, what does love look like? ah, he knows something we don't. * somehow, my external hard disk won't load on my laptop. no music for me tonight then... * some famous guy once said sth like: if you want something badly enough, the whole world will conspire towards you achieving it. that's just another way of saying Allah is all-knowing, Allah is great. * my brothers told me this story (its really entertaining when TWO people try to tell you the same story. then gets irritating, but in the end i look back at it fondly. noice.) * we touched the stars that now laugh from afar at we, the damned just cos i'm listening to that song now haha (lousy vid but the song's the focus, ain't it) * at the ccal conference we were supposed to think of the most important thing in the world. the fella told us to be creative blablabla. whatever, this is what i was thinking. you are the most important thing in this world. yes you, reader. you know that without plants, or ants, or clouds, our world would not last long. why not you? you are a gear in the magnificent system that is life. take one gear out, and the whole mechanism breaks. you are the most important thing. remember that. lol. * all these people wear masks because deep down, they know they're supposed to be more than what they are now. they don't wanna look bad cos they're too old, they can't afford them. all their lives they've not been special, never stood out. they have to make a lasting impression before its too late. and it doesn't help that everyone else has a mask too; now they're pressured to live up to the unrealistic and disgusting expectations the other cowards have set. they're closed to new ideas, new anythings. and they will forever remain that way. in turn, the young will think that is how they are supposed to be when they age. maybe they'll not, but how often will that happen? everyone starts wearing a mask at some point in their life. has your mask been on your face so long that you no longer know who you are? think about it. or maybe you can't, because you're so used to lying to yourself. its sad, but in a sense, that is the beauty of life. * now, just you and me. if i choke and lift you, you'd be off the ground. now i put you down. you choke and lift me. i'd be lifted off the ground. put me down. but when we both choke and lift each other, i wish we'd fly. but we don't, we stay perfectly still, and the pain soon overwhelms. but when we're in a team, we all motivate each other. maybe everyone's feeling down, maybe we're only capable of so much. but when everyone pretends that these barriers don't exist, and we try, we reach great heights. we can't carry ourselves as high as when everyone carries everyone else. funny, how things are. * if everyone were to think for themselves, you'd only have yourself. but if you look out for everyone else, everyone else looks out for you. which is better, eh? yah i'm asking you, you bloody kiasu piece of shizzlemanizzle. THINK, people. everyone can, really. * idon'twannasoundlikesomeegoisticarrogantbasketcosidon'twannabeoneandihopei'mnotoneSIGH. hahahahahahaha. * do i see things people don't? does everyone notice them and just keep quiet about it, pretend they're not there cos the truth is so discomforting, or am i thinking too much. cos the truth IS discomforting. the truths about life SUCK. maybe they suck cos we've been taught otherwise. so, what went wrong, and where do we start? it saddens, seeing why people do what they do, or incapable of something. i'm not a great person, i can't change some things. and i'm definitely not always the best person to point them out. sometimes things need to be left that way. it saddens, but nourishes the soul. i can't think of a better word at the moment. * Jason Mraz, Me. Me: what Jason is really saying, or what i'm thinking. if its in (brackets), its either his or my thoughts. hahaha its a big mess. Well ah you dawned on me and you bet I felt it seriously, it SUCKS to meltyou're damn bloody heavy I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted I fell right through the cracks WAAAAHHHHH PAIN And now I'm trying to get back dammit now i've gotta slime my way back up Before the cool done run out see ah i'm liquid, i can't construct a proper sentence I'll be giving it my bestest grammar gone Nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention (actually at this point he was struck by lightning) I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some (some what? money? oh wait, you can't learn money. or can you? hmm...) But I won't hesitate no more, no more i said 'no more' twice, i really mean it It cannot wait, I'm yours yeah. Well open up your mind and see like me that would REALLY hurt. welcome to my world. Open up your plans and damn you're free well, DUH. Look into your heart and you'll find love love love heheheheh i'm some sick twisted creep. go on, take your heart out and look hard at it. Listen to the music of the moment people dance and sing (he's trying to shift the focus from his madness) Were just one big family (see, trying to make things sound positive again) It's our god-forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved (entering creep mode soon) (must be what, he said love FIVE TIMES) So I won't hesitate no more, no more (yah we all know) It cannot wait I'm sure (wait for it...) There's no need to complicate (a bit more...) Our time is short This is our fate, you're stuck with me forever MUAHAHAHAHA I'm yours (again:) MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA [Scat] what the HELLO is a scat?! oh those weird noises... told you he's barking mad. Do you want to come on, and scoot/schooch (sick BASKET!) On closer dear, and I will nibble your ear (omg now he wants to eat her.) Oh oh oh ate too much off her ear... I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror (and why the hellomoto for?) And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer (i just can't figure how that works...) But my breath fogged up the glass And so I drew a new face and laughed i'm crazy i wanna new face i'm mad i'm hahahahahahaha I guess what I be sayin is there ain't no better reason (heh, REALLY?! didn't sound like that) To rid yourself of vanities and just go with the seasons no vanity cos you ain't got your ear no more It's what we aim to do Our name is our virtue (ok i REALLY didn't understand these two lines) But I won't hesitate no more, no more (there he goes again...) It cannot wait I'm sure There's no need to complicate Our time is short This is our fate, I'm yours WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT, i have to say it again for more EmphAsiS Well open up your mind and see like me Open up your plans and damn you're free there's nothing more i'd like to see now than you bleeding and cut open. holding a calender. Look into your heart and you'll find the sky is yours yah cos you'll fall and stare into the sky. (but THEN die, and he's not mentioning that. hmmmm...) So please don't, please don't, please don't There's no need to complicate Cause our time is short This oh, this oh, this is our fate, I'm yours i'm running out of words dei, cut me some slack. So I won't hesitate no more, no more It cannot wait I'm sure There's no need to complicate Our time is short This is our fate, I'm yours don't blame me, its really hard to write a long song! Please don't hesitate no more, no more It cannot wait I'm sure There's no need to complicate Our time is short This is our fate, I'm yours (he was actually buying time; sharpening his knives in the shed, that sneaky man.) OH YAH! it was supposed to be hey there delilah!!!! lol nevermind ah. this song is still a little makefunnable. next time then. by the way i hope that wasn't too much of a time-waster for you heh. * HAHAHAH i realized i didn't tell the hospital story. LOL. how the HELLP did that happen hahaha. nevermind another time too. tired ah. and i realized there were many hahas and lols in this post. could be to neutralize the tone (i'm rushing this explanation it won't be compete nor satisfying) or just a filler or maybe i really am that happy. and i'm happy cos i'm starting to get things done TWENTY SEVEN GIGS FREE WOOHOO! i'll explore the use of laughter in my upcoming thesis, titled: 'Laughter, and Its Uses.' with that i bid thee farewell SYAWAL!
Written on: Friday, October 03, 2008
selamat belated hari raya, and selamat bulan raya or syawal,Time: 1:30 AM slamarayamazabatin. or, maaf zahir dan batin. may Allah shower all of you with His blessings. Ameen. more stuff coming your way soon, i MUST NOT forget what i intended to say in this post. time catching up, bye. |
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