moved entries persons timewarp |
therealshard
say: fawaz as complete as it gets
please refrain from using
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Icon: LJ/sixthmile |
moved
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messed no more
Written on: Sunday, October 26, 2008
well ok i'll finish it up.Time: 8:42 PM and below the eyes, its gaping mouth hang loosely off its face. it was black, everything about it, like a gate to an abyss. and as it stretched wider still, saliva dripped thickly off its thin lips. francisco, the father, could only stare at the being which he knew was his son. it took him awhile before he finally took in the whole form of the being: black veins showed under the translucent, slimy skin. some parts of its torso had leaky holes (these repulsed the old man but he was strangely unable to react. he was frozen solid.); these had covered a lot of the floor in a pinkish gunk, that had a strange smell to it. not repulsive, no, but strangely bearable. several parts of its body were pulsing, he now noticed, as though it had several hearts; but stranger still! these spots seemed to slowly migrate, like little balls rolling across the flesh, hidden from sight only by the thin skin that stretched across, threatening to burst. it was at this point that the whispers in francisco's mind were aroused once more. the chamber, locked down and deep within the confines of his mind, had been vigorously torn open. all his hopes, fears, suspicions, poured out at once, flooding his entire being. he was lost; scared, yes, but more lost than anything. he was hoping that the monstrosity he was staring at was not his son, yet, as he stared longer still, he knew he was lying to himself. suddenly it seemed that he knew it all along. but just before he could start questioning and blaming himself, the fear enveloped him once more. it washed over him mercilessly. all this while, ana had been trembling in the corner of the room, her eyes tearing freely. she had wet herself, and her lower lip trembled as she stared at the thing on her ceiling. then the thing moved: sideways across the ceiling, like a crab. it muttered in a strange language in a voice that would forever torment the souls of those that heard it. then a long, thin tongue extended from the hole in its face, and it drew a marking on the floor. and with a sudden exclamation, it jumped out of the window, leaving behind a sudden and painful silence. poor francisco was on the verge of collapse, still unmoving. then ana sobbed harder still, and in a voice that carried the exhaustion from all that crying, she heaved: p-pa! i-i can hear! then she fell to the ground and curled up sobbing heavily. *** they never heard from horatio again. ana's room was boarded up; the marking that was left on the floor had, on several occasions, lit up. and scarier still, scratches, handprints, and marks of all sorts, slowly appeared around it. the room had taken on a dismal air, and never seemed to be bright enough no matter how bright the sun was outside its open windows. horatio's room was completely bare right after his departure. no more bed, no furniture, clothes, nothing. it, too, was boarded up and left untouched. after much persuasion, francisco once revealed that sometimes at night, voices could be heard chanting softly in the room. sometimes it sounded like people were having a jovial conversation in a foreign tongue. and on some nights, something pounded so hard on the door from the inside that twice it fell off its hinges. on these nights ana would refuse to go to sleep, and would temporarily lose her hearing. the family of two could not afford to move out, so they lived on with these terrors. *** today they are like everyone else once more. no more absence from school, no more staring blank at work. in fact, if you observed them close enough, you'd see that they had started to take comfort in the strange happenings in their house. as though it was horatio's way of saying that he loved them, and he would always be with them. ana would occasionally feel someone watching over her as she slept, watching her from the ceiling of her father's room. but she smiled to herself everytime. no one knows why things took such a turn. but maybe some things just escape explanation. ***END*** well its not completely finished, i've got some drawings i intend to produce and upload soon. who knows how soon 'soon' is... and now on to the dismal part of today's post. i recommend you give it a skip. i'm just trying to get it all out, though i really doubt it'll do me any good. really, leave now, some things you may not want to read. sometimes i feel like i'm an 'everybody else', but is it supposed to be that way. i wanna be more, but whatever. its just worse when i feel i'm less than an everybody else. there are so many things i wish i had never said, or said differently. but that's life, isn't it? we make mistakes and we just keep learning. now that i'm thinking again, i realize i'd rather leave things the way they've happened. there are so many things i wish i could say but just cannot because of my responsibility to whoever it involves. and because saying these things would cause immense, maybe irreparable damage. it all angers me and there's no one i can tell them to, save for God, without causing some further problem. and it really BITES when people think they can go on doing whatever they're doing just because i keep quiet. I HAVE FEELINGS TOO, AND JUST BECAUSE I DON'T SHOW THEM DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T THINK ANYTHING OF WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. everybody just STOP PISSING ME OFF. stop treating me like i'm a commodity, stop treating me like i'm lower than you, like i can't take care of myself, like i'm an enemy, like you'd rather avoid me, like i can't see through you, like you think you're better than me and just can't STAND it that i'm where YOU'RE NOT SO LIVE WITH IT. don't look at me like that and say something else. don't judge me by my face, my skin, what i look like. i can't find a proper word that sounds like how i'd yell. argh is just dumb, RAHH sounds like i'm acting cute, so whatever. i want to say so many things but i cannot. i want to do so many things but i'm crippled by so many things including myself. well sometimes. heh. (ok that sounded really out of place. but i guess i'm cooling off real fast.) and in case its not obvious enough: i really, REALLY appreciate all you people that have been good to me. my mother, father, family, friends, acquaintances. you don't know how much i appreciate all the small things people do for me. offering me a seat in the train, letting me walk first, EVERYTHING! wow i'm really quite a happy guy, come to think of it. and, it appears i'm starting to look forward to everything. we get problems everyday. now lotsa academic problems ah. but as strange as it sounds, i'm looking forward to life's problems. they'll be interesting, really. and i can't wait for the numbing fear that overcomes me when i realize i've made a BLOODY big mistake, or when i'm about to mess up big time. interesting, all very interesting. ok i realize i didn't write down everything i thought i wanted to, but its ok i guess. let's leave it at this note for now. hopefully it'll stay this way for a long time to come. life's tough but i'll always be the bigger one. (or so i hope) but i know no matter what, Allah is always there for those who need Him. Alhamdulillah, for everything. Allahu-akbar |
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