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Written on: Saturday, July 18, 2009
I've been floating around again, and here I am still awake at this unholy hour. At one point I got bored and decided to recorded more, uh, 'singing' (or whatever it approximates to) just for the hell of it. I think everything'll be on this site from now on.Time: 1:54 AM GIMME SOME Lemme just walk you through first, cos you'll need help. For some reason, the recordings are really soft again, but be careful how much you crank up da sound. 'tracks of the train' is my attempt at 'Tracks of My Tears'; my damn blocked nose and unfamiliarttm-ness of the song really doesn't do it justice, but I guess that's the best I can afford now anyway. Yeah the 'Outside I'm Masquerade' part was real funny I tried my best not to laugh, whattajerkayyam lol. 'nelayan chikopek', I think, just appeared out of nowhere; popped into my head so I gave it a go. Gosh I really wish we could do more dikir, especially since our audience always seem to lap up every bit of it. Heh. And I think in one of these recordings you can hear me tapping away on the keyboard. Baik ah. Update: I started this post at, uh, dunno what time (you check ah aku malas), resuming it now at 2:42. Well done, boy! Yesterday slept earlier than a baby, today so tired for no reason still dowanna sleep early! BAIK AH FAWAZ! Nehmind ah I know for a fact I'm really human, which is a step up from super human. Meaning: I'm damn frickin' awesome and powerful, yeah. I don't mean to offend anyone but I gotta tell it like I see it, you know me, no holdin' back. So: sometimes I really can't tahan the outcome of a group of girls getting together to, eh, talk? Yeah maybe that's the right word. And two! Two is ENUFF for a group, I swear. You can hear them from miles off and sometimes it turns to an argument, I wish I could turn off my ears like I shut my eyes. But even more irritating (see girls, I'm not biased) are guys who action lembik and gentle and whatever, JUST COS THEY'RE IN FRONT OF GIRLS. I dunno, maybe some of them are convinced that the softer and more unnatural they come across, the more appealing. Whatever. I'm not gonna waste my time on this, I'll just go back to hitting the idiots when they cross my path. SPIKKING of which. My world used to be so simple, SO SIMPLE DAMMIT. First there was ordinary facewash (you didn't see this coming now, did ya?). Then acne-clearing cream, which made sense. Then oh you need a moisturizer too, especially after you shave blah blah blah. Ya ok that makes sense. Then sekali! In comes this thing called toner. Wtf? The stuff they use in printers, ON MY FACE! That stupid joke aside, it all got arranged into this for awhile: wash, shave, toner, moisturizer. THEN. Some stupid website I stumbled upon introduced this shit, this shit called BB Cream. In short, a euphamism for 'makeup to make you look real pretty although you don't really wanna say it, cos you're afraid the girls will get jealous or something'. Alamakkk why is it so leceh to take care of your FACE ah, whyahwhyahwhyah. That's it, I'm going back to the basics; what I'd been doing for years before the chemical bombardment. Good ol' lighter-fluid treatment. Just spread, light, enjoy. Once you smell chicken, you know its time to stop. Then quickly jump under a cold shower, and you'll see everything bad fall off your face. It really works, don't try it. Aha! This sounds like... advice time! Rather, sharing time. If I know something that I think helped me, I'd rather more people knew about it. Reason out for yourself, I shouldn't be spoonfeeding you. That's not what you're paying me for anyway. I'm an educator and my job is to educate. Wear running shoes when you run, walking shoes to walk. Yeah running shoes may feel damn comfortable and spongy and whatever (most of all, it gives some loser the impression that he's remotely associated with sports, which he thinks will make him 'cool'), but they're not good for walking. Malas nak quote all the stuff here, look it up if you bother. But as always, you can take my word for it, I won't ever lie. Lie to hurt you, that is. Or wait, did I mean that? Ok this stops now. In the next few posts I will also be teaching you how to sound like a 'professional'; the highest rank you can attain in society, thus earning you infinite respect, a little more height, and a good reason to walk straight. AND get away with not bathing. 'Dude you stink man!' 'Hey I can't help it, I'm a professional; gotta work when people need me, that's the life.' 'Whoaaaaa' 'Yepp...' See that there? Professional. Ok tothachase, the first word: ACTUALLY Don't be fooled by the simplicity of this word; while kindergarten students may be as familiar with it as your grandmother is, it actually holds a lot of power. It is a word of many functions. Long sentences are actually always good, because they make you sound like you've been thinking, make you sound like you're actually smart. A good professional knows he has to be smart. Also, the word allows you to reaffirm the truth of your statement, giving you the gift of Sledgehammer Speech which you must use to pound in as much power, firmness and truthfulness in your speech. Actually, the above points can be summarized in the following sentence: Hello, actually. Brilliant, the best greeting anyone can offer. Magnificent. And I know what you're thinking, that paragraph above is the best in this entry. Ya know why? Cos I sneakily hid Actually-s inside. Actually, I'm quite cunning too. In the next post: Client Hello, Welcome to your world |
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