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Apple shepherds
Written on: Sunday, October 04, 2009
Unlike many of my good friends, I'm not gonna disrupt my blogging pattern. Life pattern, if I were to be more accurate. Its just a month left to As and personally I won't like a sudden change. I'm gonna try to keep gymming every week, cos EXERCISE IS IMPORTANT. I can't completely shut myself off from so many things cos it'll just kill me. Logically speaking, if life should be on hold till after As, so should death. Alright now stop. And wiggy wiggy.Time: 11:25 PM I'm really scared, very very scared, about this coming week. Maybe just the first two days. I used to enter the exam hall insufficiently prepared, and I really hate myself for doing that. The thing is, it was easier for me to accept bad results. Sometimes I expected poor marks and even felt happy when I managed a pathetic pass. That's what I reduced myself to, tsk. Moving on, we arrive at prelims. I studied my ass of and I did so much work for this, I really tried, and I enjoyed myself doing it can you believe it. For once in a long while, I sat for a paper and knew what was going on. I could stare at questions and make sense out of them, not just grit my teeth and skip, hoping to accumulate enough marks to have a decent score. Decent never came by the way, and I'm not gonna hide that. Never tried to, never gonna. So I'm really afraid now, because I tried. I'm so afraid that all that I did was not enough, and that I have too much left to do before the actual thing. Its bad enough that I get the impression, that a lot of my tutors think I'm stupid. Like, really dumb sorta hopeless case. The kind of student they'd cry in joy for when he just manages a PASS for his A LEVELS. I'd like to think I'm not, so I gotta work towards what I know I'm supposed to be. I know for a fact I made some stupid mistakes in my papers. How on EARTH CAN THE NORMAL REACTION FORCE HAVE A ONE-ONE RATIO WHEN THE TWO SLOPES ARE INCLINED AT DIFFERENT ANGLES WTF WAS I NOT THINKING. I SWEAR I WANTED TO BEAT MYSELF TO A PULP WHEN I SAW MY ANSWER, but its too late for that. Nevermind. So I'm telling myself this: whatever happens, happens. I've got some time left, and the support of many amazing people. I've never been alone in this struggle, and there's always help when I need it. So I'll just accept my results. If I do well, Alhamdulillah. That will be more than enough motivation for me to work more assess off, grow some more, then work But if I don't. Then I'll be sad, depending on how badly I did. Sad, really sad, I may even wanna cry, but as with everything else, it'll pass quickly. Then I'll work more asses off, grow some more, then work smarter still. The rest of the journey will be, in short, (1) Hard work (2) Prayer (3) Faith Once I've done the first two, I'll leave it to Allah, for He knows best, and He will give me what is best, and what I deserve. Its my wallpaper, Straight As No Regrets, but its the latter that I'm more concerned with. Hard work has started and will not stop. Remember I said how there are always people behind me? For what its worth, I'm always behind you my friends, and I'll be there if you need someone to kick you hard in the butt. Or anything else, we could work out a win-win plan, plus brokerage fees. Back to work, I love work, I love work. Let's play a work game play a work game if you want work if you want- Hello, For Joint + Muscle Pain |
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