upfront about persons timewarp
therealshard

say: fawaz
will you check? yes
how am i:1991 eleventeen

NEARLY COMPLETED SKIN WOO!

try me





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credits

Icon: LJ/sixthmile
Layout: tuesdaynight
Inspiration: DayBefore!Misery
Snake Eyes
Written on: Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Time: 10:01 PM

We are fast approaching post 333. That means something, maybe it's a sign for big change. Maybe it's tine for miracles? No, I don't think so, now go sing your song somewhere else.

Today was a super power day as with all other days spent with the mats. Floormats hah. Nah that was nothing. We gotta keep doing this kinda shit for as long as we can.

I remembered a super kaklar story, of owning origins not too long ago. My mom told it to me that night while we were having a sacred Family Lepaking Session, and I couldn't stop laughing. That afternoon we were all dressed and ready for lunch, so my parents left their room and my bros happily left our in my charge. So I had a brief wtf moment where I looked for my socks, grabbed the key then made sure the room was locked before heading for the elevator. See I was kinda brought up around the concepts of be ultra careful and take nothing for granted. While I'm not always like that, some traits invariably rub off by virtue of proximity.

And voilà whole family plus strangers were waiting in the lift for me. I think I hadn't kept them waiting much, no one looked pissed heh. (Why do I always keep people waiting for me sheesh. bad Fawaz, bad Fawaz!)

I hadn't really noticed but my mom said once I entered the lift the two girls at the back started 'speaking'. My mom imitated them a bit, it rang a bell, and triggered a massive WTF reaction. Fortunately what ensued was a fit of laughter, not a rude exclamation. Mak was going on and on about how they were trying to act cool, and how she would have cuit-ed (pinched) their arms till they screamed like he'll. IF she was their mom.

Please lah I don't think those girls were trying to impress me, that's just so ridiculous. But if they were, then sorry cos I didn't give a shit an I don't really give a shit unless I'm interested lol. And girls, it's not wervvit. Open your eyes PLEASE. And Mak, please don't hesitate to pinch if ever there is a need, elevator rides can be ultra boooooring.

Oh and about that! I sometimes do this weird something in lifts, just to try and freak people out. Dunno if it works, but saying it here could just spoil it all. Take an elevator with me.

And GOOD NEWS! People are somehow getting nicer, like they hold doors, say thanks and let you pass. I won't transform to Datuk Fawaz Tua Giler Nak Mampos (grandfather Fawaz so old want to die hahahaha I love love translations did anyone catch that) ( I love love rock, if that didn't ring a bell) just yet, but I'm sure if you think happy you'll be happy.

How can people say 'life got in the way', got in the way of what murrfkker?!

Please love this Earth otherwise there'll be nowhere left for us to screw around. Hmm, interpret that how you like. While you're at it, get smarter, stay sharp and be cool as a whatever the hell is cool enough.





Hello,
Is it clone day or something

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Astral
Written on: Monday, December 28, 2009
Time: 10:13 PM

Lol wtf Syatirah and Rashidi tiba-tiba muncul di luar my house hahahah I'm still in shock, I'm easily shocked. How sweet of them, I really appreciate it a lot. And I found out the got a test next week. Wtf? Serious ke per? WHY!

Anyway, they're all smart kids. Whether they know it or not, whether they like it or not. See I was watching Spiderman just now, and the whole thing about... k nvm. Anyway good luck J1s with all your thangs, been there done that LOVED IT hahahahahhaha.

No, seriously.

I loved it. And hated it, what an awkward situation. Oh and Syat I hope you enjoy your pink mic hahahaha.

Mary I've not forgotten payment, contemplating snail methods, won't that be fun?

Anyway, if you read my blog enough, you'd know I have a certain inclination toward talking about my vitamin-induced piss colour. Somehow I find the subject very intriguing and interesting, not at all embarrassing. So once more, I'll share another story.

I hope I'm not repeating myself, age catching up.

I overdosed by accident, took two Vitamin B pills. Now these babies are some awesome shit. In short, for energy release and blah blah blah. If you lived a day with me you'd see why my mom's so insistent on me taking them. I'm forever asleep, then I'll sleep some more, and I'm so laid back its scary. So she thinks its a good idea that I feel a bit more energetic, so I can do useful stuff.

Right.

Well anyway, to describe the potency of this thing, I spent more hours awake than usual one day. The day before I overdosed. We went to visit my grandfather who had a fall, but is recovering well, Alhamdulillah. He's an awesome man, 92 if I'm not wrong. Still alert and everything, and full of stories. I need NEED NEED to learn Malayalam. Oh but one thing he said, I still remember clearly. Whatever you do, do it for, in this order, Allah, Rasul, Mak and Bapak.

My elaboration is, whatever you must be in their name. If you want to do something and you know Allah (if this applies to you, that is) won't be happy with it, then DON'T BLOODY DO IT. If Allah permits, but mother doesn't, then do.

Getting my bike license, for instance.

And its back to the vitamin story. So I spent more hours awake, then only got two hours of sleep, and about an hour later overdosed. You can't blame me, the vitamins were arranged like that on the table, where my portion (at least that's what I assumed) had two black pills. Turns out someone ter-messed up the arrangement or something.

Thing is, despite the severe lack of sleep, I outawaked the whole family (save Mak. Hmm, why ah?). Some time after lunch, everyone KO-ed and slept and slept till Maghrib I think. So I had the time of my life playing game after game on the ipodwhatpodallyourpodpod. And that night, stayed up some more to watch some TV.

Not a yawn the whole day, never nodded off, it was freaky. Freaky COOL SHIT!


BUT!


We're forgetting something. THE PISS.
Yeah the piss. It was so much more yellow than before, in fact I coulda swore it looked almost lime green. Like almost frickin' glowing in the toilet bowl. Smelt good too I think hahahahaha. Maybe that's cos I'm always overloading on water. But anyway, one more pill and I think it would've been acidic piss, melts right through your toilet! Try it yourself!

Come to think of it, shoulda turned off the lights to see if it really glew.
Yeah GLEW, get over it.

I just dropped the iPod but despite the sever heart trauma it caused me, it also revealed something else to me. If you don't hear it, it won't take as much damage. Thank you God, for allowing me to be listening to loud music at the time of the incident.

And how the HELL did it drop?! Thing was on the table! I was typing away!

Damn SPIRITS...

Oh and thanks for all the nice words everyone, right back atcha a million times.





Hello,
My name is a bella

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Gapless Album
Time: 1:12 AM

I went for a wedding today, weddings scare the crap out of me. I don't know why but I find them very intimidating.

Does anybody want a pair of Sony Ericsson earpieces? I've got two actually.
Booooooooooriiiiiiiiinnnnnngggggggggggggg.





Hello,
Goodboring

Labels:


Scventz
Written on: Saturday, December 26, 2009
Time: 3:48 AM

I swear I keep hearing my name called. Recently it's been my mom's voice bit there've been others. The strange thing is, I'm more annoyed than afraid. Actually, I'm just plain irritated. It's frustrating to hear your name called only to turn around and find no one looking for you. What, playful phantom? Get a life. Oh yeah, can't.

Time' flying real fast doncha think. When I plan to do things it always seems theoretically sound. Seems is the keyword here, and the next big thing to happen is my battery's running out.

Both mechanical and biological. So I should've said batteries are. My mistake, sorry, time to go, good bye.

But then:
I did try
Plus
It didn't work
Equals
Aid deednt work

Useful short forms for the busy human.





Hello,
I loaf you

Labels: ,


I Bored Boughtdom
Written on: Sunday, December 20, 2009
Time: 4:02 AM

Ewmember I talked aviu change. Yeah change of name chang of dunno what blah blah. Well it's Bren around for sine time only people dint know. Don't Dont don't the quick brown fix jumps ofer the lazy dog.

Well anyway if you want early access th. I offe thee one clue for this time one night only bravo bravo.

I'll give you this one clue before I give eeryone the last clues, and before this place will see anything new again. Sooooooo it actually does t make a difference if IOU fiire it out or not.

Well anyways in all politeess, it's another name I go by I wish to go by it I use it sone know it you've seen it you can find it here

there I spilt maybe you wanna go a hunting if IOU find this new place, semi hallowed ground (I wish) then leave your mark. Numerical positioning would be great, privy?

Now I'll bus type away and see what cones out of it. Am I accurate ebough or will it all cone out as gibberish we don't know I'm sibereun g here Ora biking I'll jusgtap away lakamalalala no meani no ksjnskfnd. His isntsipposedbtk nake any sensedrli g do y you know because I miss you so all the teams we tried and there are strand houses shit strange noises shissy tine to go wow well done

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500 Beside Me
Written on: Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Time: 10:47 PM

First of all, you must watch this. Its ahhsummm.




Dis man gud sal. Mek mie wan too tch oso. But eye rmb las tym eye oso wna tch soo eye ehm hpy.

Chinese-subbed Korean dramas and all their respiratory sounds. You can never get enough of that.

I was playing Kotor that day. Yeah again. And it struck me why Star Wars and Star Trek and whatnot are so popular, hordes of people are huge fans, movies, whatever, blah blah blah. Its cos the dam thing's so damn believable. Everything's made up, down to the smallest details, it seems like all the tech they talk about is just there somewhere, in a galaxy far far away. A long time ago too, depending on context.

I got to explore the Telos something, a ship, inside out. The hyperdrive, navicomputer, map room, the outer surface, every damn thing. And it all makes sense, it links, heck, they could create it for me to be in isn't that enough of an argument. Languages, aliens, shit I'm getting excited thinking about the game I can't write properly I may start getting incoherent so maybe you don't wanna keep reading, instead find out where you can get hold of the game then play it. And you must also watch the movies and read the books and immerse yourself in this frickin' genius George Lucas' world.

I'd be damned if he didn't make it all up, and instead did go to all those places once.
WHY DIDN'T HE INVITE ME.

Ok enough geek talk, nerdface.

EH HABIB HASSAN! ON THE NEWS! Bye enough of this blog shit I'm too lazy to type
Btw my piss is luminous and yellow and very possibly glow in the dark, because of my vitamins. Thanks Mak. Heeheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee





Hello,
Do you know how to me

Labels:


Angkat Besi
Written on: Sunday, December 13, 2009
Time: 2:04 AM

So I said I wanna be philosophical today.

Kreia asked me why I was so willing to help everyone, and either of my responses (I loaded the level twice) got me this answer: sometimes by helping people you are doing them a disservice in the future. By going through struggles you get stronger, and small struggles are only followed by bigger ones.
As Mama said it would be impossible and very unnecessary to dissect every such scenario, dissect it from the micro level, to give you a better picture of how much thought could go into it. To make things easier, I have decided that I'll help when I can, when I need to. Teach a man to fish, and he'll feed himself forever (provided you let him keep the rod, and there's always fish. And that he lives forever), so that's how I'll help people. Don't spoonfeed.

Another conversation shed some light on the discomforts of reality. And I believe when there's enough light, you'll find that everyone has something that should have remained hidden, and that it could cause your image of the person to crumble. Because the person himself does not crumble, he has always carried that burden with him.

I have always hated such things, and hated these people even more. But then I'd have to hate (almost) everyone, because everyone is covering up some ugly truth. So I've given up hating. I won't be bothered with what I don't need to know, and I will judge people based on my observations. If you're nice to me, then chances are I won't give a shit that you were once some kind of monster. That statement is oversimplified, but I think it suffices.

Most importantly, I know what kind of person I want to be. I will be honest to everyone, I will not hide, and I will always do my best to be a good person. I don't want others to have to discover something about me that saddens them, or makes them change their view about me. What you know about me is enough for you to trust me, because I know what it feels like to trust someone or to look up to someone so much (though I'm not implying you should look up to me. Unless its literal, then, uh, you gots no choice) only to have everything forcibly redrawn, leaving me lost in a whole new sea of colours. I want everyone who ever needs to come into contact with me to know that I will be true to you, and that you can trust me.

Or you could just leave me alone and I'll be happy playing all my wonderful games (K.O.T.O.R.!!!!!!!!!!!) (and more) (a lot more) (maybe even too many more).

The MAI Family Day meeting this afternoon was great. Besides the fact that I was super embarrassed for coming late (I have this problem and it SUCKS) (and thanks a million for waiting for me, Zul. I'm sorry I had to pull you into the late basket hahahha. I owe you a few billion), I enjoyed myself a lot. Firstly Abang Aidel was a superb leader. Cos he knows what's going on, he knows everyone he's working with. He always gets people involved in discussion, and when you work with him you feel important. That's real important cos then everyone is motivated to do better. The other Aidel (hahaha I don't know his full name) was equally impressive. He gave off strong vibes of someone who's very intelligent and sharp, and he makes a good assistant, cos he knows when to call super-decisive actions. Its something to be able to confidently and authoritatively give an order, that makes sense and has the backing of your men. Firoz (correct speeling?) klakar giler ttm, you needa hang out with him if you wanna be put in a good mood real fast. The girls were brilliant, and although I didn't get to talk to them, they came across as very intelligent people. Like hidden intelligence, ask and it'll be revealed, not the showoff kind of intelligent.

Please ah, if anyone ever says wah you Raffles confirm smart, shut the hell up and open your eyes a bit. Talk to the people around you and you'll see how smart SO many people are. As a matter of fact, stop saying all these things if you don't like it that Raffles people are always 'the smart ones', the 'ones who'll go places' and whutewwa. The more you say it, the truer it becomes, and the bigger the heads of some of these raffle people.

And not to forget, Fauzan, Zul, Haliim and Haris who were there to make things funner. Haliim you're seriously one funny motherfather my brothers cannot tahan sak, they couldn't get enough of you please come back and let us bask in the light of your brilliance.

I desperately need to strengthen my shoulders, there's something wrong with my joints and my forearm bones. But if I stare enough at the mirror- no wait - at all the reflective surfaces that suffer my presence, then everything will be alright. The secret to a good body (not implying anything again, but you can assume I am. Confusing?) is all in your head. No stupid long hours of jogging on fking treadmills, no starvation and no complaining. Tell yourself you're good, eat well.

Yes, EATING.

I've come across lists of PowerFoods. Stuff like that. And these lists get longer and longer and lllllllllllllooooooonnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggeeeeeeeerrrrrrrr.

WHY AH WHY

WHY? YOU KNOW WHY?

Because God, in His Brilliance, made everything (that is Halal) beneficial for us. If He says you can eat it, then jolly well eat it. Eat everything and eat moderately, stop before you're full, and trust me you'll be healthy fit nice body woohoo power ah. No shit about bad foods, got it?

So anyway. Datuk Fawaz Tua Krepot Too Many Years Of Experience hereby orders you to stare at your reflection for extended periods, do some poses, and let this run through your mind: oh my God I'm damn hot. Oh my God look at those- YEAHHH now THAT'S what I call biceps. And my- *flexes harder* - yeahhhhh sexy abssss. Sialah this is too much to handle. But amma handle it anyway cos I'm too hot to handle.

Something like that ah, modify to your taste. Its not what I say, but I think its still good and should work. REMEMBER EVERYONE YOU'RE ALL BEAUTIFUL! James Blunt might write a song about you, but I'd rather he run away crying. Maybe take off all his clothes again. He can't get enough of his body too, how cool is that.

I'm slightly hungary but I'm gonna sleep anyway.





Hello,
Don't think too ice

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Don't be mad if I'm starring
Written on: Saturday, December 12, 2009
Time: 12:53 AM

Today was ahhsummmmmm.

Firstly thanks to Arif and Danial I'm so touchéd (hahahahahahaha) to say the least. I'm also malas to try to express myself wellely.

Now that I'm thinking a bit, I realize I didn't thank Zul Syafiq Has Fads Filzah. Like I didn't explicitly mention your name. Rest well knowing you played a part in the building of this ahhhsumm body of mine.

Somebody should really gimme a slap yaknow.

K back to being nice. I was damn happy to be with te mats today, one day when I'm old I'll look back at thus period of my life and go 'good days, good days'. Thanks Ame for allowing us to terrorize your house and for taking our ravaging of several packages ofsweet confectionary treats, so well. Maybe you gotta thank all the lizards for providing you with some excitement.

And thanks a lot to Khairul too, I really enjoyed riding you. You were really good and kept good control, taking good care of us all. To the rest of the guys, it was good squeezing with y'all. EH but SERIOUSLY thanks FOR sending me HOME. One day we can all go driving together, as a convoy, that'd be mighty cool and a mighty waste of minyak if its one person per car.

Anyway I'm also addicted to The Sims 3 on my phone. Let me explain my genius plan. It'd be too much to buy everythig I need for my house like a stove or toilet shower wutewwa. So I made Nina my best friend, and when you're best friends it means you can do whatever the hell you want to in their house and they won't kind. I sleep there a lot, watch the TV cook my meals read books you name it. All at Nina's house. It's also the most conveniently located house on the map, near the lake where I go fishing near my workplace near EVERYTHING. So I was hoping I could fall in love with her, cos that's one of my Sim's goals. I flirted and used picked up lines and embraced her tenderly (limited options, not my fault) but we never moved in from being best fiends. Did I say fiends? I meant friends.

Then I met Anya.

(I'm very dramatic right)
So anyway this Anya girl was a stranger, but we kicked things off well. The trick is to be romantic once you're friends, don't o further than that. Keep ip your Romeo thang and soon you'll be a couple, not good friends. I don't use Anya's house so much but I'm glad I completed one of my Sim's goals.

I think I'm getting quite used to typing like this. I'm especially happy that The path to wêïrd vürdz hâth bæn màdę úpen.

I wanna sleep I needs get bigger and I wanna write a philosophical post tomorrow. Philosophicish maybe. Be good everyone hehehe.





Hello,
I think I wanted to have said goodbye

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telos
Written on: Friday, December 11, 2009
Time: 6:54 AM

i'm addicted to knights of the old republic 2 i'm not sleeping i'm not eating right wow this is so exciting

Solid State Smoke
Written on: Thursday, December 10, 2009
Time: 3:36 AM

After reading around a bit I was quite impressed by the way a lot of my friends write. They sound really intelligent (like really intelligent) and they're so clear with what they say, I can almost feel the same emotions running through them. Something like that.

So I thought I'd write something intelligent too. A break from all the nonsense you'd find here.

Yeah right. All I can think about now is how I needa get that new hard disk tomorrow, and of all the updates I've been running. I started K.O.T.O.R. (Knights of the Old Republic. Pretty suggestive name, I know) 2 two days ago, and I'm hooked. I remember seeing an ad for this game once upon a time in one of my gaming magazines. I was hooked to the idea of playing as a Jedi, and now I'm living my childhood fantasy.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA. Araknow that just sounded so unnecessarily dramatic.

More crap, everyone? More crap headed your way.

People change, you can't deny that. I've changed, but I'm looking for a reference point. Cos I'm sure I stopped changing awhile back. I'm thinking the same way I've been thinking for some time. But I notice a lot of people around me are changing.

I don't always like that.

Some people change because they're going with the groove. Only if you don't take a step back, you might not realize how much you're fking yourself up. But you're so in to it you don't wanna get out, I think. So if you change, and I feel it, and you realize that, don't be mad if I behave differently towards you. I'm just reacting. And remember, I'm an ENFP, a teddy bear, a pacifist, someone who takes relationships seriously. I have very strong sentimental attachments to things, I frickin cried the whole night when I lost a part of something back in, sec 1? Primary 5~6?

Point is, even if I grow distant from you, its because I don't wanna make an enemy out of you. I want us to remain friends, and remaining the way we are now will make things worse. I'm being as general as I can so you can adapt this to your situation if you somehow feel I'm referring to you hahahahha. To be honest I'm not thinking of anyone now. Kreia, maybe, if you count her as a person. (If you know what I'm talking about: if she's a Jedi and if she still knows so much, how come she's so weak. I had my memory wiped out, remember?)

The more I try to accept it, the harder it is for me to make myself want to be with everyone. I guess I'm just like that; I prefer things alone. I need people, yes, but not everyone, and these needs change. To make myself clear, partly because I don't like people getting the wrong impression and then worrying/questioning (I get irritated when people associate me with the wrong emotions. Wrong because I'm incompatible with them, my name shouldn't come anywhere close to them) me: if I say something then I mean it, don't second-guess me and don't feel unnecessarily for me. I need breaks from everything, especially people.

Because people are so complicated yet so transparent; it doesn't help that being blunt all the time can be so hurtful. I don't think I'm that good at reading people, but whatever much I can do, is too much for me. I don't like it when I sense subconscious nuances, see people hiding feelings, or have to hide feelings myself just because its the best thing to do.

I think I really wanna live alone in the future, provided I get over my fears. If there's monsters in the attic why can't there be monsters anywhere else? You figure that out then tell me, I might wanna listen.

I have until May to do things I need to do. Right now, the two most important things are fixing my damn internet connection so I can publish this post. Then comes getting ready to sleep. I'm not including sleep cos I don't know if it'll come, but I quite like that anyway.

Be happy people, and don't ever let anyone be the boss of you. Unless its your mom, cos you see, well, ah nevermind. I'll preach another day.





Hello,
I am sithing down

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Dutty Jobs
Written on: Tuesday, December 08, 2009
Time: 7:36 AM

See lah, this is what happens when I postcrastinate (I just made that up, I know, you're welcome) something for far too long: a post with content spanning the entire Force Nebula. That's the fifth galaxy on the travel-log of the Nepstar Twin space rover, set to relaunch two years from now.

I made all of that up too.

Aaaaaanyway, I just had my first post-post-gym protein shake. Yesterday was my first post-gym shake, and I was excited as hell. From today onwards, I'm supposed to take a serving first thing every morning. Wake up, head for the kitchen, mix maself a shake and then try not to shake as I gulp it down. This BCAA thing's supposed to help me grow.

But isn't that fake? I hear you ask...

Well lemme reason out a bit. We all need a certain amount of everything to function optimally. Almost, if not everything, can be obtained from the food we eat. But sometimes we don't get to eat all we need, for whatever reasons. Also, we may also have to eat a lot a lot a lot just to get a certain amount of something - like protein. Almost all my life I've been on all sorts of suppplements:
Vitamin C tablets, everyone knows what they're for but people like me just don't know what the hell they do
Vitamin B complex pills that make your piss really yellow, I swear it's causation is scientifically proven. These babies are supposed to help with energy release, protein synthesis and who knows what else. Read your Milo tin or cereal box, they bother to explain.
Omega 3 FAT!ty acids thingamajigum. In short, I try to be smarter.
Cod liver oil. In both yucky form and thank-God-for-pills form.
Brand's essence of chicken
Ginseng powder. Tasted nutty and I choked 9/10 times. Then gave up before the 11th time.
And the list goes on...

My point! Finally! Supplements can be a good thing, they help you get what you otherwise don't. So that's it for protein shakes. It gives me the protein I need when I need, without having to kill too many chickens. Cos you see I still gotta hunt for my food...
And the branch chain amino acids thing, I'm quite sure they can be found elsewhere. Like soybean milk? But that lifestyle is so much more expensive and not as beneficial. So voila, enter NutriFirst protein powder.

Power ah.

Oh yeah Grad Night. Ok ok only ah... its like everyone paid to go there and just take photos. The waiters were damn skillded though, they always are, and we had a good time watching them dexterously cut and serve our portions. I think everyone was so caught up in all that photography business that the whole programme seemed half-pointless. People were not always paying attention, or not sporting enough. Maybe we gotta get them drunk next time hehehe. Even though some of the performances really can go hisap, the major plus of the night was seeing everyone dressed up. Hahahahaha as Arif pointed out, suddenly so many hot girls. Seriously sak where the hell did they all come from - or where have they been hiding. That said, girls seem to think that less kain (cloth) = more hot. Some of them were, to me, screaming out through their clothes: I wish I could be naked! But I had some leftover cloth, so...

Really? With all these intelligent girls talking about equal rights and all, its so funny to see them willingly and so surely take a path they often denounce. When girls are portrayed like that in movies, its baaaaad. In games, baaaaad. Oh but its prom so ok show as much as you want lol. But just for the record, aurat issues aside, I think a lot of the girls really looked very good, like they pulled off their look real good. Good job ah.

A lot of the guys were also damn cool, and good job to the guys because for once, I think it was harder for the guys to dress up. So many options and combinations, it can be a headache if you wanna stand out of the crowd.

I realize my blog posts are too full of words.

For the sake of it, I'm going to tell you all about camels now.

They are really sensitive animals. All it takes for you to clear a path through a herd of camels is to raise your hands, wave them a bit and go chi chi chi chi. That wasn't an incomplete word, so please don't attempt to complete it.

The calluses on their underbelly are present from birth. Rock hard, they provide cushion for when a camel wants to, uh, sit? The calluses on their knees are formed from many sits.
Their calluses can sometimes get infected. This is not good. The bedouins squirt burnt motor oil on the affected areas, and that works as good as hell. Cool, eh.

Camel poo can cure dysentery. Just, you know, eat it.
Camel piss can clean your hair, if you've got messed up hair with bugs and stuff.
Camel milk is lactose free and very low in fat.

Camels are extremely social and kinaesthetic. They thrive on positive relationships and like to be touched.

Trainers inspect their toes for any growths or whatever, to make sure the camels are healthy. A camel may not like it, and so might kick if you feel around for too long. Pull back, then stroke the leg, then go back to the toe. Now stop and get out of there before it kicks again.

Bull camels, or male camels, show off to females by bringing out their soft palette - a red flap of flesh that resembles a tongue - and blowing through, creating a weird noise. Come to think of it again, it sounds like a fart.

That's enough of cameltalk I wanna backup my data. Stay everything positive hahaha.





Hello,
I'm highly inperfect

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555 king ha ho hahahha
Written on: Saturday, December 05, 2009
Time: 2:01 AM

Today I got a chocolate facial, and hung out with five of the coolest people in the wurld. To be honest I was quite glad it rained, baru shiok. If everything was sunny and bright and dry then there'd be nothing to worry about or to half-stress over. Its like you need some 'problem' to drive you to greatness and fun and good stuff. Anyway, shiok giler ttm I loved every bit of it. Thanks lots everyone. I wish I could write more but I've hyper nervous yet tired. More soon.

I gotta get the lyrics down now, LYRICS dayumn, stress sak. Phewwwww. WHOOO.

Protein. I'm a convert. Full body full mental no compromise, get ready for a bigger better stronger faster Fawaz.

I'll post pics of the superb sight of protein-ness on my table. And my theories, you're interested I know. Tace kare everyone.





Hello,
Whey? Who izzit?

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In the Making
Written on: Friday, December 04, 2009
Time: 2:33 AM

I haven't had my 24 hour sleep marathon. From the looks of it I'm quite well prepared.

Must do lots and lots and lots and lots of computer stuff. Get a new GPU, another external hard disk, backup everything, maybe reformat. Defragmentation must come as second nature. Fix up the other com, get all my games sorted out and completed. Clean up the whole damn computer table, maybe get a new one. Oh yes I was supposed to get a new table. This one looks like it might cave in.

All my books still here, but I needa start on chemistry first. Lotsa reading to do I can't wait but where do I start?

First step to greatness: turn in for the night. Live it up everyone hahahahhaha.





Hello,
Were you from here?

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Bapak The Man
Written on: Wednesday, December 02, 2009
Time: 1:29 AM

Today got a lot of photos.

It was while uploading everything that I remembered why I ever stopped uploading so many photos. Blogger's photo uploading service is a bitch.

I went back to Picasa and saw that I could select more than 4/5 photos and then click Blog This!
But Picasa was left waiting forever for the service to respond, so it kept me waiting, so I concluded that Picasa's a bitch too.

Votewa! Today was a good day, two contributing reasons:
I sang Feeling Good, both Buble's original and Lambert shithead's rendition, in the shower. Screaming and all. That left me feeling good I guess.

Secondly, I Got A Feeling was stuck in my head the entire journey to The Place, and it escaped through my mouth a lot. Tonight really was a good night.

Alhamdulillah!

NOW!

PRESENTING...

My father



Hahahahaha no one saw that coming. Let's get another view, from when his hand successfully worked some magic.




Here you'll notice that he has conjured some light, maybe even set something ablaze.

Bapak I think you studied too much.
I think Mak looks superly duperly pretty. Did I ever tell her that? I should.



Shoulda used my kamera ah, this's a lil blurrish.






In the lobby, there was this frickin' house made of frickin' candy and everytyhing delicious. TAKE A CLOSER LOOK AT THE FRICKIN' PHOTO!
Some idiots even plucked off cookies and rock-hard cream puffs. Those bastards.


Next time let me EAT them not paste them all over some idiot's house.


Why the faces? Cos candy got an earlier mention than us.
Great.


On to more stuff.



Someone else's work, on a bench in school. Find it.

This calculator. Remember this calculator?
Well it was covered, every side of it, in girly stickers. Girly ttm, one glance and you'll turn gay.
And some people thought it was my calculator.
MY calculator.

COVERED IN GIRLY STICKERS.

thanks.

Hahahaha you know I'm playin', 'tis all in the name of good humour.



Study the photo and you'll figure out where it was from.
I found it funny cos I read it as Stop dating Violence,
like you can date this thing violence.
A date-able entity, like, you know,
geedit? Uhh... yeah I think I'm done.

I'm all for crediting artists, but I dunno if he'd want his name associated with this hahahahhahahahhahahhahaha.

One day after Haris and Haliim left the table, I found the top note, in Haris' handwriting.
So I replied uh duhh.

The Brilliant Invention by Fawaz and Muzhaffar
Circa 2009

This is from a playground near my house. I swear the eyes freak me out.
They freaking freak me out I'm not kidding dammit they work even through peripheral vision.
I got to get me ass out of here.




Or hit enter till the page is sufficiently lengthened.


NO MORE PHOTOS THANK GOD. Actually got ah but wtv.

I always wanted a life where I didn't have to answer to so many people, where I'd spend my time doing what I wanted and needed to. Own time own target. I used to have to do so many favours for people. The same thing is starting for this holiday, and it won't end till I'm in NS (CIVIL DEFENCE WOOHOO!!!! Please set your house on fayyah if you want me to pay you a visit in record time).

At first I was a little irritated. Firstly, for getting myself in a position where someone could ask something from me. Secondly, for agreeing to help so much. Thirdly, I'm starting to have to plan my days to accommodate what other people want.

Then I realized, that this is a good thing. It means that people need me, that I'm useful. And that's the first step to living a good life where you're paid to exist. I've mentioned that before some time back, quoted from Jonathan Mead. So now I'm actually happy that people want me to do stuff for them; people need me, and I like that.

And when people need me, I might need help, and that will mean that I'd need my friends. All my good friends who are always there for me. I'm not mentioning family cos I need them 24/7 regardless of what I say hahahaha. But back to point: it means we all need each other, we keep each other alive. How cool is that.

That said, I still like a degree of nonattachment, independence so to speak. Need when you can't do it yourself, not depend on people. Fingers tired, gotta stop. Keep safe get smarter stay sharp be happy be happy and be happy.





Hello,
Lypsink

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Veency
Written on: Saturday, November 28, 2009
Time: 3:51 AM

I'm pretty much very super nocturnal and screwed up now. I survived on three hours of sleep from 3 to six am, now I'm still up, and I'm supposed to go out the whole day tomorrow. This can only get more interesting.

They've finally finished repairing the LHC and I'm frickin' excited to see what it can do. It better do something, cos it sure cost a ton. It'd be a great shame to all those nerdy scientists if nothing comes out of this. Shame on you in advance, just in case. I think Haliim is as interested as me, maybe more. He knows a lot. He'd understand this: there are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

We should totally make out one day man.

But now that I'm half-thinking, I can name a Muz who'd know more than binary. Maybe he solves multivariable calculus questions for the fun of it, a pastime? I do not know.

I lost the plastic thing on my phone again.

I found exercises to correct my rounded shoulders and I'm gonna start tomorrow. I'll post the video here soon cos sharing is caring and its good.

When the heck am I gonna take my highway code and start driving license. Speaking about driving. There was this frickin' cool leather jacket I saw at Crocodile just now. The coolest shit for now. It cost like 300 bucks, it would probably be damn cool to wear that for grad night. But its totally not worth it, I don't like spending my parents' money like that. Wait till I'm damn rich, then we talk. Still, even if they would buy it for me, it'd just seem incomplete cos I don't have a BIKE.

BIKE.

BIKE.

Which I will never ride. Hahahahha. Hint hint hint hint hint. Nahh they've made up their minds a long time ago, I guess I'll just have to make money fast enough to get a car. Think MIT blackjack team but in a completely halal way. Go figure.

How the hell do you get bigger arms?!

Did I mention I lost the plastic thing on my phone again.

I think I'm at this stage in my life when I'm finally GROWING UP. Mental-wise, though I'm still child-like. Not childish, child-like. I'll always be like that. Then again, I've had this feeling so many times. But now, I've got better justifications. I used to look up to a lot of people; not anymore. I see through so many people I love, I hate them for their flaws but love them still. I cannot understand how they ended up that way, why they cannot change, and why they are so narrow-sighted. I don't want to be like them, even though I used to want to be them. I realize people weigh you down a lot; they cause you a lot of pain and misery, intentionally or not. Its not because people are bad, I believe we're intrinsically good. Its because its been going on for such a long time that we're so caught up in this vicious cycle, some don't bother to stop and think wtf is wrong.

This is where living alone comes in, oh that very appealing idea. But then I'll have no anak2 and cucu2 to boast to, to share all my incredible stories with. Adopt children? Other children? There are many children out there who need such a figure, maybe I could be that for them.

I realized today just how strong the bond between siblings are. Half the time I'm around my brothers I'm pissed at them, the most part of the other half we spend doing our own things. But when we're together, I feel this powerful connection, this energy. Its like we're strong when we're together, like we're all the same person. We're so much like each other and we love each other so much without saying. I'm on the verge of tears now. Because I know that the time we have together is limited; once we die, siblings will not see or recognize each other again.

God gave us this special gift to make full use of. The time we spend on this earth is challenging, but our siblings are a secret weapon He has given us. A one-use lifeline that's worth more than you can imagine. I love my brothers so much, I wish I was more patient. I wanna be more patient. I don't wanna regret anything, they're too special to me.

That's enough I gotta stop.

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Have fun with your friend
Written on: Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Time: 10:50 PM

I was reading about Paranormal Activity awhile ago, and was pretty impressed with what I saw. So I shared: I read aloud that the film cost $15000 to produce but grossed like $100000000. That's a hundred million.

But someone (I'm trying my best to be good and respectful here) had to remark: so all the idiots went to watch lah.

Rule number one, don't talk about something you don't know about. Rule number two, always be nice. Rule number three, don't talk so much about others if all you can say is what people have been telling you.

Bottom line, nobody fucks with me.

Ok back to the movie, I'm done being pissed. I'm all for happiness, see.

Truth be told, Syafiq Zul and myself were laughing most of the time, and passing, uh, comments amongst ourselves. The movie was scary, especially the last half hour of it. I think a lot of people (like some Singaporeans, the rating on GV is 3/5 wtf) can't really appreciate it cos of a lack of brains, put simply. Things work when the content delivered binds its tender threads with the streams of an audience member's thoughts. Then he understands everything, becomes a part of the movie, and allows it to grow in his noggin. THEN he can feel what's supposed to be felt, and truly enjoy the movie.

Not just fuckin sit down and expect everything to be fed to his fuckin face.

Which is why I enjoyed the movie. It didn't spoonfeed me, it gave me something to think about, presented in a very believable form. While I may not have pissed my pants there, the ideas and scenes from the movie are stuck in my head, and will surely start to mutate and merge with the rest of my mind, only to sink below the surface. Then when the correct trigger is pulled, the whole thing materializes as a new fear, and I get half creeped out. Half only, cos I'm damn brave. And you must always 'control handsome'.

While I might be able to sleep tonight, I'm sure I'll lay wide awake some night, imagining all sorts of shit. Bravo, I liked it, I like what its gonna do to me.

Now I've got another headache, what to wear for grad night. I was seriously considering going nude or maybe just an underwear or something, but everyone seems to laugh at that idea. So funny meh? I'm quite sure some tribes somewhere find that kinda attire glamorous. Ahh neeehhhmind I'll go shopping (YAYY!) (HAHAHHAHAHA) soon.

I need more scary films ah.

And protein. On Friday Zul convinced me to take protein, and for the most part of the night I was damn looking forward to it. But then I thought about it again, and nahhh. Its not artificial or whatever, its all good and stuff, but I think. I think, too many people take it. Its almost like you see a buff guy (think me. Ceyy tak malu sak budak nih...) and assume he takes protein. Protein = semi instant buff. So that's not what I wanna be, cos I'm so speshul and all. Like, you know, the only 'truly unique' person in the world. Like, there's no one, NO ONE else like me, and I'm doing yall a favour by existing. Ok that's quite enough, I can feel angry stares already.

But just picture this. Someday in the future, if lah, IF I get interviewed by some whatever, and if I'm truly buff then, then they'll be bound to ask me things like:
What's your routine?
Yada yada.
Then comes the killa:
Do you take suppplemen-
NEIIINNNN!!!! NEVAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Oh but I take vitamin C and B complex and some other Brand's thing every morning. [Insert super wide good-boy-plus-innocent smile]

Then the next day, when the thing hits the press, people will choke and jump outta their socks and faint or something.

BECAUSE.

The headline, which is about something else totally unrelated to me, is super shocking. Just a coincidence that there's an interview with Fawaz (huh who?) somewhere in the back pages, strewn all over the place, inconsistently small font, ink smudges, half my face unprinted, maybe a big IGNORE THIS right across the affected pages.

I think that's enough, I'm done procrastinating the inevitable. Good, good sleep.





Hello,
Ich versteh euch nicht

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Neverflicker Lights
Written on: Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Time: 1:34 AM

I'm half thinking this is not such a good time to do it, but I've been doing it anyway.

Doing what, Fawaz?

Fixing my version of Thief 2.

Dayumn, really? Why it need fixing?

Well ya see my bro only did install it and run it one time, and it did that freeze thang and got all hung. Today I try, and Gawddamn? It did the same thang!

No shit!

I ain't playin'! So I'm all pissed off and stuff, and I'm like wuuut? So I hit them google sites, and found me a coupla places that could help. And they's sayin' stuff about hyperthreadin and modern computers and all that shit, so I'm like aite, aite, we do this one step at a taam. So I do's they say, then guess what man!

What man! C'mon ya killin' me!

Heh aite aite keep it cool. Well ya see, I's doin all they's askin me to do and in the end that dayumn game tells me I gat the wrong CD in!

Hell no!

Hell yeah! And I's checkin' it again and again, makin' sure I's got the right CD, and my eye's not playin' wit me or anythang. But dayumn dawg, the thing messed up furreal!

Aw jeez, what you go' do bout' it man?

Go' do? I did it, hell, I still doin it!

While ya talkinna me right now? That's dope, brutha.

Word. So ya see, I undeed all the thang that I wuz doing before this, and I start from scratch. The basics, you know wha'm sayin?

Yeah, yeah, I feel ya.

So I'm thinkin', I's gat to do some updates first, so I did. I went and looked, and whacha know, there's this update for ma graphic card. And I swear dawg, I think ma display looks a lot nicer now. And you wouldn't believe how scared I was at the installation, what with all the blue screens I've seen.

Oh shit man that's gotta bite.

Yeah, yeah, but I kept it cool and now its workin. So I just installed the game again, I'm gonna go head and do the rest o' the steps. Amma catch ya later and tell ya everythin I do, sos youken use it if you gotta, you know.

Great lookin' out bro, I owe you. To all yall bruthas and sistas out there, keep it real, we go' come back for more tech ackshen soon yall, hang tight. Peace out.





Hello,
I ain' playin' foo'

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MDK
Written on: Sunday, November 15, 2009
Time: 12:41 AM

There's a ton o' games out there that need playing, and I'm gonna continue my journey but getting MDK and MDK II ASAP. BEFORE THEY DISAPPEAR FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH like, almost, The Grim Fandango. I remember seeing that game almost everywhere as I kid, but I thought little of it. Picked it up once in awhile, but never gave it the attention it deserved.

That is a character flaw that I regret till today.

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE ANYTHING and always give everything a go. The new Fawaz will not make such mistakes again, no sir.

This damn cut on my upper lip is killing me, making simple things like eating, talking, even living, extremely challenging. Go away you damn cut.

I think its an 8800 or 8600 GTS that'd do the trick, gotta remember that. I'm talking graphics cards, in case you're lost but very eager on understanding what I'm saying.

Its bloody unfortunate that Duane's out of Singapore Idol, I always looked forward to his performances, provided I watch the damn show in the first place. He's got a good voice I tell ya. And its so unfair that the judges are always giving him crap. Florence unintentionally insulted him a few times with her stupid comments like 'classic case of zero to hero'. Florence dear, such statements imply that the recipient once fit the first adjective in your sentence. Or stupider things like 'you don't have the looks or the dunnowhat'. COME ON don't EVER say that to a person. I don't think she meant to sound that way, but you could tell that the poor kid was hurt. Besides, everyone knows you're supposed to think before you talk.

Dick Lee isn't as bad I guess, although he's really afraid of a dancing Duane. Dunno why lol. But Ken, Ken's one helluva major son of a b****. His gay over-lipsticked ad aside (for the record I think the Taufik feature was cool. Take away all the portions with Ken and you have a decent ad.), he has GOT to be the most contradictory judge in the history of assholism. I caught a bit of the repeat telecast today; he told Charles (wtf Stitch?! ...really,now...) or someone not to try anything different at this stage of the competition, instead give audiences something new. As I saw it, 'something new' goes hand in hand with trying 'something different'. He's always trying to act quiet cool, always trying to sound smart. Well Ken, sometimes you are, once upon a time you were a good judge, but if you're gonna keep this up you might wanna consider improving yourself in a few areas. Firstly, if you wanna talk smart, get smart. Don't bite off too much to chew, and end up convoluting your whole comment or fumble with wrapping it up. Talk about things you can talk about, or that you can try to talk about. Secondly, you might wanna learn new adjectives as you seem so fond of them. Thirdly, this is an fking competition so give them a break, stop trying to act so terrifying and instead tell them HOW TO IMPROVE. Also, you might wanna avoid asking stupid/rhetorical questions. And if you find it hard to speak in long sentences, keep 'em short and stick to simple words. That way you avoid embarrassing grammatical errors.

Duane if somehow you're reading this, I'm behind yo back man. Keep improving and keep working at your dreams. If you dowanna take exams then to hell with them! No one out there can prove that life's gonna go downhill if you don't go wit da flow (oh ya Florence darling, judge him as a competitor. Don't have to get all motherly and talk about his school and shit), in fact there are many people who go wit da flow and end up worse off. Don't give up boy.

Maybe I should say something now just cause I can, also because I need to make space for new thoughts, revolutionary ideas and evil schemes.

Just because I'm not your enemy it doesn't mean I'm your friend. And just cause I tolerate your bullcrap it doesn't mean I like it, or that you should carry on with it, or that I just won't hit you one day. Most of the time, you can tell a lot about how I'm feeling, from my facial expression. Take a hint, maybe take a hike if you're that irritating. Regardless, don't push me. Somehow, I find myself holding back a lot of combo, super, max-power and upgraded attacks on some people. For your own safety please do not ever break the fragile barrier that stands between you and complete destruction. Cos, like, seriously, I can destroy you, effortlessly. I'm a psychic, ninja, cyborg, mutant, wizard, supervillain, Jedi thing, what more could you ask for?

I think its also apt that I tell all my friends not to wrongly terasa, cos if you fit the character-type above, it should probably be damn obvious by now. And if I'm always friendly and alive and humorous in your company then its very probable that I'm cool witcha.

I was walking to school the other day, when the ice-cream man, in the distance, took off his helmet and started ringing his Ice-Cream Bell. Its a holy thing, the bugle that calls many a young trooper to the divine site of frosted cool treats. Anyway as I neared him, he looked at me and I smiled, and he smiled back and nodded.

I WAS DAMN HAPPY!

Seriously sia small things like smiling at a person can make such a big difference, why do people find it so hard to do so? WHEN I'm bigger and taller and whatever, I'm gonna smack people around for carrying long/dead/dull faces. Bloody irritating. I just realized I got a lot of stories about irritating people. So the sum it all up,

SCREW ALL YOU IDIOTS.

And,

HELLO GOOD PEOPLE, MAY I JOIN YOU. I wanna be a good person hahahahhahahahahhaha. Although I realize I make a good criminal. I even LOOK like one! OH YA! Some people agree with that hehehe.

MOST OF ALL, I wanna go to sleep. Now.





Hello,
Never be lost again

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This just in
Written on: Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Time: 12:03 AM

Happened awhile ago and I was tickled.

Bapak told us a joke about Captain Hook, then I remembered another, which followed very similarly to his.

Why did Captain Cook die?

Bapak: Because he scratched his heart

Haha no. Because he scratched his balls.

Bapak, Fauzan and Fahim start laughing.

Fahim: Owww now I feel pain
Bapak: Hahaha that's a-hahahha. Hahahah good one.
Fauzan: Hehe... eh but keka that's not a nice joke.

Why not?

Fauzan: Not nice la! Why must talk about all these things

Fahim: But we all have what.

Bapak: Ya its just a joke

Fauzan: (silence for some time) Eh but why must he die! Why didn't he scratch himself with his other hand, he's not called Captain HOOKS what.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. I seriously cannot tahan sia, sometimes he says the most simplistically brilliant and funny things.

I thought about this while trying to sleep... wow sleep...

4 divided by 2 can be translated to four objects divided amongst two recipients.
So each of them gets 2.
0 divided by anything, is like this: you have nothing but you wanna give something to everyone. In the end they get nothing.

Soooo, anything divided by zero is: you have something, and you don't wanna give it to anyone, so you're left with what you have.
Apparently that's not the case. Anything divided by zero is infinity, or undefined. Either one or both, can't recall. I think I know why. Its because subtle intricacies have meticulously been crafted into the fabric of our lives, to create gentle dips and folds in it so we may be swayed to a desired conclusion. A goal of the people in power, or the influential-selfish.

This is a case of the defence of selfishness.

I have something. Because I don't give it to anyone, it balloons and explodes into a countless many. I am rich. I am happy. So I'll keep not giving.

K whatever I relleh gotta sleep.





Hello,
Truncated travels

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To myfinity and be gone
Written on: Monday, November 09, 2009
Time: 3:42 PM

This will make for unpleasant heavy reading, some side effects possible. Negative, maybe, but I'm not feeling those vibes. But on with it already.

I'm sitting here staring at my paper, then getting back to typing this. I can't help but wonder if the invigilators can't see what I'm doing, or have chosen to let it pass. I did tell them something, but I didn't think it'd work this well. Either way I'm gonna keep saying what I want said, and we'll see what happens from there. Maybe someone'll tell me to stop dreaming and get back to reality.

So, do you know what the reality is. The real situation I'm in, or not pretending to be in. Have I spun enough of a web to catch you somewhere? Gee this is very exciting.

Now the real stories begin.

HWAAAAALAOOOOOOOOOO. Heart pain to the maksimum. Yesterday Fauzan told me bluntly that I look like a skinny girl. SKINNY isn't enough, he had to say GIRL. I was shocked beyond words for awhile, I took off my shirt and went 'THIS?! YOU CALL THIS SKINNY?!' All he could say was yah you have a skinny build, you don't look big. I went to Fahim who was obviously not paying attention to what was going on in the hall, cos he was absorbed in his game (I think. Maybe he's got a super radar too araknow), and he said ya you're skinny.

WHAT. WHAT? WHAT?!

The worst part of it is that I was terribly affected by what they said, Fauzan even had the cheek to tell me I WASN'T EATING ENOUGH. They always think I'm on some weird diet, everything I do is strange and a subject of some mockery, and at the end of the day, I still have my insecurities to catch me when I fall.

So thanks, for making me fell SO GOOD about myself. I can't help it you know, I try really hard but its just my nature. What people say about me really REALLY matters, and what people don't say or imply matters just as much. I hate it but it hasn't gone away. Just gotta live with it I guess, and keep pretending I'm fine/not fine like I've done for so long, that I can do so well. Bravo Fawaz hahahhahaha.

Here I am trying to be a good boy. I try to keep the house clean, I keep things where they should be, dust here, whatever there. I go to school and I sit down and STUDY. Sometimes I really can't take it but I force myself to do it, to practice harder and to remember everything. I'm exhausted, holding back so much, blah blah blah, and so many people can easily cast so much of doubt on me. Ladies and gentlemen I present you with the new 'three hardest words to say', 'I trust you'.

Now seriously. I gotta say this, please let me say this, I'm sorry and I'll get mad at myself later, and whoever can say whatever LATER. But what the F*** does everyone think I'm doing in school? Seriously, wtf? What's 'I don't know' or whatever. I'm not a fking stupid child, I know what I've got to do.

This all fits in nicely with my thoughts about people. I believe people are intrinsically good, maybe simple, but we are what we are now because of other people. Sometimes good people are pulled in the wrong direction, or weighted down, because of other bad people. The worse case is if they're family, because then you can't break the bonds that tie you to something you'd rather not talk about. Think about it, and maybe you'll agree with me on this. In our society, we have so diligently built walls and set traps around ourselves, and parents lovingly cuff and shackle their children, cutting branches from the tree of their future. They streamline you to the path they were forced into, utterly convinced that everywhere else is a black hole.

There exist 'anomalies', of course, people who do not fit this description. I can bravely say that these are people who are truly happy, and who live not just exist. I need to quantify this, and I'll work on my ideas more once I'm out of school. School, haha, not so much an exploration of vast knowledge rather a training camp to meet someone's expectations. Then they give you the boot and that's it.

I've said some of that before. And this, to some people: to me, something I do can be pathetic to everyone, but if my mother says its good, I feel a lot better. And it doesn't matter if the whole world likes something I do, because if my mother doesn't, I'm crushed. Everything will mean nothing. That's why I get very sad when some people say some things. Whatever it is you don't have to worry about a thing Mak, I love you very much and I promise I'll take care of everyone. No one will have to worry about anything as long as I'm around, and you can count on me to get everything done. Wait and see.

Someone said in school just now that they care about me, and I forgot to say thanks. I was pretty stunned, to be honest, but this is what ran through my mind: you don't know how much I'd do for all of you, in a heartbeat. Really, I'll be there for you just the same.

I was thinking some more about my hypothesis, that you can tell a lot about a person from their face. I narrowed it down a bit to several distinguishable features: the eyes, mouth and head shape.

I noted that people have different ways of listening to others. Some frown slightly, as I sometimes do, some listen with wide eyes. I also observed that the eyes either focus or appear to stare blank. I think this shows how the person is responding. Picturing everything you're saying, trying to feel how you felt, or trying to make sense out of it. I also think it has got to do with personality. Its very messy now, I need to work on it later.

But more importantly, its when you're not talking to a person. If I'm right, people with a relatively high mental capacity usually have alert eyes, that are sharp, or have a certain look when the person's dreaming. It appears that how someone perceives the world (primarily through sight) reflects the amount of activity in his brain. Less intelligent people tend to have an empty stare, rarely focusing on anything, always looking vacant. The dreamy face of that kind of person could probably resemble someone almost dozing off, more than daydreaming. The zoning out often associated with the 'nothing box' is in fact a period where thoughts fly freely and uncontrolled, where the mind can easily pursue what it feels. Rarely is it truly empty.

Enough for now. Maintain, my friends. You'll do as well as you think you can, think and feel smart, you'll be smart.





Hello,
Speaker beats per minute

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